Essay Test: Pirates Of The Mainland

The following admission essay was submitted to highly selective colleges.

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For over 200 years, historians have created a PR problem for pirates. They’ve cast these swashbucklers as filthy mercenaries and “avast-me-hearty” criminals. I too bought into this archetype until I came across Ching Shih, a 19th century Cantonese prostitute turned commander of 40,000 pirates. Her story revealed that the roots of piracy are not about plunder, but rather about a crusade against oppression.

A century before her time, the Golden Age of Piracy birthed the radical idea that you could liberate yourself from a state’s oppressive rule. For the marginalized and the powerless, pirate ships represented an escape from social exclusion. The Jolly Roger didn’t care if you were black, gay, a woman, or missing a leg, because the very ethos of pirate culture was a rejection of the rigid hierarchy and unyielding glass ceilings that defined 18th century nations like Great Britain and the Qing Dynasty.

Pirates took in the rejects of society and constructed their world as an antithesis of the worlds they left behind. Captains were democratically elected and answerable to the crew; the right to mutiny kept captains in check. Ships operated on a need-based division of plunder, and the community took care of the disabled. Despite often killing and plundering innocents, Golden Age pirates created the most inclusive social order in history.

Ching Shih, who herself entered piracy to escape a life of prostitution, was the first pirate captain to prioritize this order over the pillaging tradition. Within a decade she created an egalitarian society that enveloped an armada a thousand ships strong. Her strictly enforced code against rape and theft made piracy more accessible to women and more effectively protected the rights of towns than anything the Qing Dynasty had done before. By escaping the state, she rejected its tyranny; by creating a space where tyranny didn’t exist, she shone a light on the failings of her mother nation.

In times when barriers of exclusion seem impossible to break down, Ching Shih reminds me there is an alternative approach to confronting social injustice. Rather than attempt to force a change from within the state, she inspires me to recognize that sometimes a shell can only be cracked open from the outside. I cannot commandeer ships or plunder boats on the high seas, but the pirate culture’s legacy lives through me as I create the Jolly Roger of the modern world.

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Questions

Rate this essay from 1-5 with 5 being the highest rating. What rating did you give it and why?

How would you describe the tone of this essay? 

What three words would you use to describe the writer of this essay?

Did this essay teach you something you did not know?about history? If so should this be something that would help an applicant get accepted?

Is this writer smart? Defend your answer.

If you were to describe the writer of this essay what would you say? Where is she from? What is her background? Should this make a difference in how you read the essay? 

If you were advising this student would you tell her not pick this topic because it is too controversial? If yes, what is potentially offensive about the essay?

Do the unwritten laws regarding political correctness apply to admission essays? 

Would you describe the writer as a feminist based on this essay? Why or why not?

How do you define feminist?

Have you ever addressed an issue of social injustice? 

Would you vote to accept her into a highly selective school based on her character or her writing ability? 

Would you want the writer as a roommate? Why or why not?

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I would like to thank Elaine for letting me post her essay here. I first read her essay on the website Quora.com. in response to a question about admission essays.