Essay Tests: Topics, Voices, Choices

The following essays were submitted in response to individual supplemental questions asked by 4 highly selective universities:

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Stanford: What matters to you, and why?

7 billion is the approximate number of people who call this planet home. So what? What is the significance of such a large number of people?

The question “So what?” is the reason why people matter to me. There are so many people on the face of this planet going about their daily lives, but it seems to be a common occurrence to overlook one another because we are so numerous. We pass each other every day and don’t even take the time to smile or say hello. We exist around each other but not with one another.

People matter to me because I understand that the world can be a hard place to navigate and that the world is not a fair place, but I believe that little acts can have large and lasting results. I believe that everyone has a purpose and from that belief I know everyone matters. People are hurting all around the world, some in silence and some out loud. I care about people because I believe it is my duty as a human being to comfort and help my fellow man whether it means just showing a friendly smile or helping someone with a problem. People matter and it is my mission to end as much suffering as I can and to show people their worth because deep down everyone wants to know that they matter and are valuable in the eyes of somebody.

UVA: To tweet or not to tweet?

Please submit your chosen essay here:

The ancient Greek playwright Sophocles once stated, “A short saying often contains much wisdom,” but how am I supposed to fit real meaning into 140 characters or less. To tweet is to say nothing or nothing of real merit. # Mindless updates of lackluster ideas.

As a society we are all about fast. We zoom through life, moving this way and that, but our actions lack substance. We lack roots. Tweets are just another form of our high speed insufficiencies.

Tweeting appears to lack substance. We tweet because we cannot speak. We cannot speak to those we truly care about. We cannot speak about our feelings, our concerns, and our lives. We cannot speak, although we wish to be heard. So, we tweet.

Tweeting is a sad cry to be heard in a world where hustle and bustle drowns out real conversation, real meaning, and real understanding. I chose not to tweet because to me a conversation whether over the phone or face to face has more power than 140 characters. To tweet is # no time for a real conversation, # I just had a thought; time to post it.

Why tweet when I can speak? I must say I find the subtly in a voice more moving than the simple sound of a tweet and the fluidity of words more captivating than the simple cry of 140 characters. But then again who am I to talk, I did use over 1000 characters to write this essay.

William & Mary: What makes you unique and colorful?

My name is Sean Tristan Means and I am unique because… I seem to have drawn a blank.

I wish I could tell you that I was a genius and on my way to being the next Steve Jobs; or that I had a plan to lead a revolution against social injustice and be the next Martin Luther King; or that I had poems that could shape the world like Robert Frost; or speeches that would force people to listen like the President. But I’m not those people. I’m me, Sean Tristan Means.

I like football. I find joy in a simple run outside on a nice day. I like to read and can spend hours in a library inhaling the aroma that only comes from the pages of used and worn books. I have dreams of world peace. I have dreams of correcting social injustice and finding ways to solve the problems that plague our existence. I have a desire to be the best person I can be. I am simple and yet that is where my complexity lies.

My existence is unique because I can’t be anyone else but me. What makes me unique is my heart and my passion for people and for promoting change. I can’t stand the chaos and disorder of the world today. I can’t stand that people are hurting, while politicians and world leaders nonchalantly play a game of political chess with the lives of millions. That is why I am aiming to effect change in these forums through my work as a person and hopefully my future work as a lawyer and politician.

As of right now I am still searching for myself because I am constantly growing, changing, and moving. I cannot tell you for certain what makes me stand out because I am not sure of it myself, but I will not stop searching for it. One thing I do know is that I am Sean Tristan Means and there is no one on this earth that can be me but me. So if you are looking for someone original to join your community at William and Mary, you do not have to look any further because I am right here, waiting to be accepted into the fold.

My name is Sean Tristan Means and I am unique because…That still has yet to be determined.

Yale: In this essay, please reflect on something you would like us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application, or on something about which you would like to say more. You may write about anything—from personal experiences or interests to intellectual pursuits. (Please answer in 500 words or less.)

Mud and grass do not taste good.

Most of my life I have played it safe. I observed a situation, calculated the odds, and then took the most logical path. I was Spock, minus the pointy ears and add black skin. But in eighth grade I took a risk, a deadly risk that challenged my mental stability and my physical might.

I was going to try out for my school’s football team. Me, the small, lanky, nerdy kid with minimal athletic ability was going to play football, the brutish sport of barbarians and rampant concussions. I wanted a challenge. I wanted to experience football in all its glory. Little did I know glory only comes through struggle.

Every day rain or shine I came to conditioning, and every day was a merciless challenge and a chance for me to gain a better understanding concerning the complexity of mud and grass. One of my arch nemeses was the crippling rope ladder that ensnared my feet before hurling me into the mud as I attempted to pass over it with speed and agility. My next opponent was the spiraling torpedo known as a football that struck my hands, feet, legs, and even my head at times at imperceptible speeds before taking a nose-dive into the ground or propelling me into the ground. Then there was my final challenge every day, the tackling and blocking drills. Oklahoma drills they were called after the rough and rugged terrain football seemingly took its characteristics from. Mud and grass, mud and grass that is all I could see, feel, and taste after every hit knocked me down and almost out.

Yet I never yielded to the torture known as “conditioning,” even when I found myself dazed and bloodied with mud and grass tightly clinging to my clothes, almost as tightly as I was clinging to consciousness and to the sound of that final dismissing whistle. Through my drive and determination, I made the team.

Four years later, I am still playing football and even start as a defensive tackle on the frontline of the defense. When I look back to my eighth grade year of football, I really can say my football experience has been worth every second of pain. I was closed off and pretty angry with the world but football helped to alleviate some of my burdens. For two to three hours a day, I did not have to worry about school, nor did I have to focus on what needed to be done at home. From 2:30 to 5:30, I could be a kid.

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Questions

Rate each of these essays from 1-5 with 5 being the highest. What rating did you give each one and why?

Did the same person write these essays?  Support your answer with stylistic or content-based proof. Can you identify what constitutes a voice in an essay? 

Do you believe the sentiments the author expresses in his Stanford essay? Why or why not?

Some admission experts advise students not to write about sports in their application essays. Do you think the writer should have written about football?  Why or why not?

  

Do you agree with the author’s assessment about tweeting? Do you think that an admission reader of this essay who disagreed strongly with his views could be objective about the merits of the essay? Why or why not?

List 5 personal traits you believe this student demonstrates in these essays. Are these traits predictive of success in a highly selective university?

Is this student smart? Support your answer with details.

The author of these essays also wrote the essay I posted yesterday. If you had read his response to the Common Application essay question first, would this have shaped how you would have read these responses? Are you sure?

Sean Means will be attending Stanford in August. I am grateful for his permission to let me post his essays here. In the next few days I will post my interview with this remarkable student who has also been named a Ron Brown Scholar.