Jefferson’s words may be the most well-known sentences in
the history of the United States. It seems fitting to quote them as I write
this on July 4th. But rather
than talk about them as politically I want to use them to introduce another way
that Thomas Jefferson lives on today. While Jefferson’s name is attached to memorials,
money, and lots more there is one place which is synonymous with being elite
rather than being open to all.
TJSHSST is one of the top secondary schools in the US and
the world. Some have ranked at as the best in the US. Thomas Jefferson High
School for Science and Technology, located in Northern Virginia, just outside
of Washington, D.C. has the facilities, teaches and most of all the students
that can compete with any school anywhere. (I have written about TJSST a number
of times.)
But I am an outsider. Today, I have been given permission by
a TJ alum to repost her blog entry on TJ (and, by proxy, magnet and other elite
secondary schools both public and private). I have read a lot of books, articles,
and posts in various media about secondary schools and education, but Angela’s
words are among the best I have ever read.
She is honest, very smart, and a wonderful writer. It should
be no surprise given that is currently a
creative writing major at the University of Chicago and this summer is doing an
internship with Facebook. I hope to be
posting an interview with her soon. I also encourage readers to take the time
to read the comments too. There are a lot of them which only underscores how Angela
has picked a topic a lot of people care about.
If you want to read more of her great work follow this link.
I am grateful to Angela for letting me share her work here.
*****************************************************************
I Have A Problem With The Nation’s #1 High School
Me and TJ, we’ve got history. TJ is where I had my first slow dance, learned to drive a car, and once got chased down the chem hall by an eleven-year-old supergenius with a roller backpack and the blessing of Satan. TJ also happens to be Newsweek’s #1 high school in the United States of America. I know, right? You’d think an institution like that would learn to keep its child prodigies in check.
Anyway, I have something to say about this school:
Something is wrong.
Something is very, very wrong.
And it’s not getting better.
Flash back to my freshman year. I’m volunteering at Techstravaganza, an annual STEM activity fair for elementary- and middle-school folks. I straighten up, having just explained the concept of a thaumascope to a boy who’s got his left index finger jammed halfway up a nostril, and find myself under the intense scrutiny of his mother. She looks sort of like a rutabaga. And when she opens her mouth to speak, it turns out she also sounds sort of like a rutabaga.
Woman Of The Rutabagas: So how did you get into TJ?
Angela:
Woman Of The Rutabagas: Like, which prep class did you take? See, my son’s in third grade, and I’m wondering when I should get him signed up.
Angela:
Angela: Well maybe you should first get that finger out of his nose because it’s approximately 1.2 millimeters away from making contact with brain tissue which will probably cause irreversible physiological damage sometime after he graduates THE THIRD GRADE (?!?!) but idk that’s just me.
Okay, so I didn’t say that. Whatever an angry rutabaga looks like, I figured it couldn’t be pleasant.
But guys.
TJHSST was founded in 1985 to provide a safe haven of sorts for bright, intellectually curious kids who got a little slack-jawed and weak-kneed at the idea of STEM. It was a place for students with specially tailored minds to find specially tailored educations. They didn’t tack on the “for Science and Technology” so we would suffer from Scantron-induced carpal tunnel syndrome and lowbrow mockery at local sporting events. It’s there because that’s what Thomas Jefferson is. A school. For science. And technology.
Originally, kids applied because of passion. Today, kids apply because of reputation. And that, my friends, is where everything goes to shit.
Let’s return for a moment to TJ prep. Sure, it discourages kids who don’t have the means to access prep classes, but that’s an argument for a separate post. The issue in the frame of this blog post is that TJ prep defeats the purpose of the test itself. If you need a prep class to pass the TJ test, is TJ really the right fit for you? (Update 1/7/17: I didn’t take TJ prep, and only now am I hearing how the situation varies sharply from student to student, company to company. Naturally, so does the applicability of the following.)
Consider a theoretical company called Tryna AF. Tryna AF offers a prep class for first dates with, I don’t know, famous attractive investment bankers who can sing, dance, make $130K a year, and talk to cats. Tryna AF teaches you how to say hi, sneeze, and drink water in a fashion that will most certainly secure you a second date. In fact, Tryna AF even provides fake famous attractive investment bankers so you can practice your first-date skills. You block out an hour each Saturday to have a date with a fraudling, then reflect upon your experience and improve for the next time around. And then you finish Tryna AF’s course, make a Tinder account, and hunt down your target. You secure a first date with Flavius the Third. (Flavius the Third’s gender is a Schrödinger’s cat scenario.) Thanks to your training with Tryna AF, you secure a second date. And BOOM NEXT DAY YOU’RE MARRIED AND YOU’RE HAVING A BABY NAMED FLAVIUS THE FOURTH AND YOU’VE SCORED THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS AND IT DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER EXCEPT-
Being married to Flavius the Third means a lot more than saying hi, sneezing, and drinking water. Suddenly this is a lot more work than you expected. Suddenly it’s a lot more work than you can handle. AND. Flavius the Third snores like a goddamn hippie didgeridoo convention.
(That very last part is largely irrelevant to the metaphor. I just felt like Flavius deserved some more character development.)
Would you marry someone solely because they’re ranked the #1 Spouse in the United States of America? How would it turn out if you did? Just because something’s ranked #1 doesn’t mean it’s YOUR #1.
I’m not above this mindset, because here’s the truth: when I decided to attend, I too heard that squawky gnarly voice in my head. It’s Number One! Such is the way society has raised us, and such is the way society tortures us. But I was lucky enough to see the light halfway through my freshman year, so I never felt any academic pressure during my high school years. I followed my own values and did my own thing. This post is a reaction to what I’ve seen and heard in the community. If you’ve got a firsthand point of view to add, please feel free.
So people apply to TJ for its reputation, get dragged through a prep course because of it, and get into the school only to find they can’t manage the workload or don’t enjoy the classes. And then they take more prep classes . . . for their actual classes.
Yup. My mom told me this as I was eating a piece of cake, and I dropped it on the floor in horror. I still get a little emotional when I think about it. (Especially the cake part.)
Prep for APs. Prep for summer chemistry. Prep for BC calculus. Prep class after prep class after prep class. Introducing . . . The Transcript Race. In which kids take BC calculus freshman year, or AP bio and AP chem concurrently sophomore year, or whatever. Rack up those challenging courses! HUH! Plump up that GPA! HUH! Get into a good college! HUH! HUH! HUUUUUcakeUUUUUH!
Listen, I respect you if you’re taking challenging courses because you can handle them and you enjoy them. I do not respect you if you’re taking them because you’re aiming to slap a name and a number on a transcript. If you are a slapper and you are in denial, WAKE UP. You could drop dead or get ingested by man-eating kangaroos at any second. Moreover, you’re going to drop dead by the end of the century anyway. Do what you love. Don’t waste your time bullshitting around. On your deathbed, the only person you’ll wish you had impressed was yourself.
Overall, these prep classes are not the underlying problem, but a mere symptom. They’re also an effect. You see, the problem with our nation’s #1 high school is its culture, and its culture forms a vicious cycle. Of test scores, contests, and the constant urge to do morefastermorebetter. If you made a rat poison out of it, it’d snuff out an entire colony of rabid, six-foot-tall mutant rodents. Culture’s some strong stuff. Even the sanest of kids can get swept in and digested. Then they get pooped out again, except they are no longer humans. They are just stress.
Daft Punk: Around the World/Stronger Faster Better
Brief InterludeCheat (v). act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, especially in a game or examination.****Usually a direct effect of stress.
Okay, so these prep-classes-for-actual-classes aren’t dishonest. But they are unfair. And they definitely provide an advantage. The kids who don’t take them begin to wonder why they’re “not as smart.” So many people I’ve talked to from TJ have felt incompetent. My best friend. My little brother. Christ, it hurts me to see.
And of course, we all know about real cheating. Kids claiming admission to Ivy League colleges. Kids scanning Sparknotes and plagiarizing Google searches. Kids straight-up lying to their teachers, stealing answers from their classmates, and taking cellphones into exam rooms. IMPORTANT NOTE: Cheating is not the problem, but a symptom. The culture is the problem. It is a culture of Race To Nowhere, when it should be a culture of passion and learning.
All this talk of cheating leads me to a scandal of sorts going on right now, involving the Siemens Competition for Math, Science, and Technology. In fact, it’s been going on for quite some time, but no one’s made a fuss about it until this year. It has to do with a lowkey company run by a single woman. If you Google it, you will find a simple, skeletal site advertising a youth scientist program for high school students. Stuff about scientific research, computers, brilliant minds, Ivy Leagues, the likes. From what I’ve heard, kids are paying up to $10K for this 10-week program. They submit the resulting project to the Siemens Competition. They win and progress to the next round. Toot toot!
So is this an unethical pay-to-win situation? If you’re interested, or if you have run out of exciting things to do with your life, there’s a TJToday article with arguments from both sides. But for the sake of this post, I’m going to disregard the ethics and withhold my opinion. For the sake of this post, this is simply another symptom of exactly how sour TJ’s culture has gone.
The purpose of the Siemens competition, I assume, is for students to explore and develop their passions in math, science, and technology. Paying cash to be handed a research topic seems to contradict the notion of passion, disregarding any ethical ramifications. And you know what’s really interesting about this whole scenario? A guy in the program said he didn’t even want to participate. His mom made him. And she paid for it.
That’s right. Who’s shelling out that $10K? Not the kids, that’s for sure.
Which brings me to my concluding point. Parents.
Dear Parents: I understand it’s important that your kid has a strong, financially stable future. Whether you truly care about their well-being or you’re greedy for something to brag about—that’s your business. Just know that if you harass your children about grades, force them into prep classes, and build their lives around reputation and riches, I’m sickened. That vision of success is hideously narrow. This is life. Not a ladder. Not a game. Fine, make it a race if you’d like. Caveat: it’s a race to nowhere.
I urge these parents to reconsider what makes a life one that is well-lived. I know it’s hard to see past your own childhood and lifelong values (I’m looking at you, Asian community). But consider the observation I’m about to share.
Some parents, mine included, were very lax during our high school years. They let us explore our interests. They told us grades don’t matter; effort does. They encouraged us to choose a college where we’d be happy. And what happened to us? We’re enjoying our homework, befriending professors, starting and leading organizations, pursuing unique opportunities. We are not afraid to do what we love, and do it to the max. We know what it feels like to fly.
The parents who molded their kids into robots who graduated with a 4.9 GPA, 15 AP classes, 6 competition grand prizes, and 11 Ivy League acceptances? (I am making numbers up at this point.) These students, I’ve noticed, are killing it academically. But they’re stressed out. They view college as work. Their primary focus, still, is homework and a couple side activities. They have not developed the independence that comes from being motivated by passion. They may go on to become CEOs or multimillionaires or cardiovascular surgeons. But maybe they will never become someone bigger. And believe me: in the scheme of things, a lower middle class schoolteacher in some hick town in Iowa can most definitely be someone bigger than the world’s richest corporate leader.
Which version of success is real success?
That’s not up to me to tell you. Also, I’m some 20-year-old dingo who binge-eats carrot muffins and shudders at the idea of popping out a fetus. So, like, parenting. Not my thing.
Anyway, I lied earlier. Here is my actual concluding point.
An Open Letter To All Current TJ Students, Past TJ Students, Non TJ Students, Rutabagas, Wasted Cake Slices, Investment Bankers, And Any Remaining Humans (But With An Emphasis On Current TJ Students):
(I) School is for curiosity, growth, and learning. I hand-picked these three words very carefully, so read them again like I have made them out of clay and am lobbing them one by one into your eyeballs. CURIOSITY. GROWTH. LEARNING. This is our one and only chance to devote ourselves to the simple, pure act of gaining knowledge unfettered by the burdens of adulthood. Chances are taken to be relished.
(II) Stress should not come from doing things that you do not love. Stress should not be so extreme and consuming in high school that students cheat, take Adderall, feel depressed, or contemplate self-harm. For that stress to result from academics at such a young age is unacceptable. I spent all of high school writing and climbing trees and hanging out with my family, and I still got into college. You’ll be okay too.
(III) Self-worth is based only on one thing: self. It’s based on how good you are at being you. Self-worth is NOT based on how you compare to others. Please, believe in yourselves. Believe that you are more than numbers and letters and resumes. I promise you that, even if you’re not the smartest or more accomplished of the lot, you can still become someone wonderful. We are ALL born with greatness. This greatness is the ability to be passionate about something. Passion is passion. There is no ranking.
(IV) Be who you want to be. People can tell you otherwise, but it’s up to you to fight for yourself. No excuses.
A Final, Final Concluding Statement: My Problem With The Nation’s #1 High School
Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology was not founded to be the #1 school in the nation. It was founded to fuel the passions of kids who love science and technology. We have replaced a beautiful, pure goal with one that is shallow and stressful.
Yes, there is a problem.
Stop avoiding it.
Start addressing it.
If you agree with this post, please share it with family, friends, teachers, pets, your 7th-grade crush, and the Internet. I’d appreciate it to the stars and back.
This is not just TJ’s problem. This is everyone’s problem.
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80 thoughts on “I Have A Problem With The Nation’s #1 High School”
- Wow, amazing! I felt pressured in middle school to apply to TJ and used to regret not applying, but this post reminds me to put things into perspective.Liked by 1 person
- As a poolesville SMCS student I will forever be jealous of you TJ kids, but this post is the truest piece of literature I’ve ever read. #exposethem because sometimes this magnet school stuff is total bullshit.
- I graduated from High Technology High School last year. Hths, to those unaware, is also in the upper echelon of STEM high schools. My parents never pushed me, in fact the only pressure I felt was put there by myself. My father never really thought grades mattered all that much (good thing because I am not a genius, prodigy, and my grades were NOT hot). Simply, I never took prep courses because I felt if I needed a prep course then I shouldn’t be at that school. There were three types of students in my graduating class: Geniuses (lets call them VN), people who thought they were geniuses (Lets call them SK) and students like myself. One of the most important lessons I learned from hths was not from a teacher, but from peers. I learned to be humble. I had to learn this, but the VN and SKs didn’t HAVE to. Many of the VN were also the most humble. Some weren’t, but most were. The SKs never learned this. Many times this isn’t the students fault, but the parents. They start their child on a course that may sound good, but sometimes isn’t right. They push and push and some succeed. Some go to Cornell, MIT, and Harvard. Then others don’t. They are still highly intelligent, but the are not humble. They think they are better than everyone else. My opinion is simple, if you want your child to succeed, then give them options. If they have the drive all by themselves, then help them. But if they don’t, don’t make them. The SKs will be successful, but their lack of humility will hold them back.Liked by 2 people
- I am a TJ graduate who has become a middle school teacher watching children navigate this prep course landscape. This is a great piece! I will share it with my students and their parents.Liked by 2 people
- So, like you said at the start, the intention of providing a “TJ” education, is similar to a “gifted and talented” or “advanced academic” program for elementary age students. What happened is this, all students take a test, which is a baseline test. A good indicator for where a student is in his/her academic development. We’re talking 2nd graders… so 6 or 7 year-olds. Some of these kids had off-charts scores, and public education, (back in the late 60’s-early 70’s) decided that it was only fair to offer an appropriate education for these kids, which statistically speaking should be somewhere around 3% or less of a student population. Fast-forward to today… kids are taking tests to score better on these 2nd grade aptitude tests at the behest of their parents. What ends up happening is this, these classes become over-crowded, filled with kids who don’t want or shouldn’t be placed in them. Anxiety ensues, on all fronts…We need to keep this discussion going. We are fighting the one-size fits all education model, and then expecting that ALL students go to college… isn’t that some sort of irony?Liked by 2 people
- My science-loving kid decided to apply to TJ a few years ago. When she didn’t get in, she shrugged her shoulders and moved on with her life. Several of her friends enrolled there, and they seem to have gotten through over the years. Over the summer, I overheard this bunch comparing the schoolwork they had to do over the summer. When my daughter shared the nature of her summer workload, one of her friends sneered at her. “Well,” her friend said, “You just go to X HS. *I* go to TJ.” And proceeded to belittle my daughter. The other TJ friend jumped into the chorus. Later, I asked my kid why she didn’t respond to their mock-teasing disses. “I’d rather have balance. I’m getting a solid education at my school, but I don’t have to deal with that sort of crap. I have a life, and I like that.”” A proud moment in my life, though it made me a little sad. TJ has veered from its initial purpose. You hit the nail on the head.Liked by 2 people
- I’m a student at Stuyvesant High School, another well-ranked school in America and the top-ranked “specialized” high school in New York City. This piece reflects so many of my feelings towards my experience in my own school. Like TJ, we had to take a test to get in and prep for that test is widespread across the city. I feel like there’s been a straying from receiving a real education and stimulating intellectual curiosity towards a more test-based, GPA battlefield. We are pushed to rank ourselves in terms of how well we do on tests, care more about grades and which classes have the best curves than the actual curriculum, and I feel like it’s not uncommon to lose the real reason behind going to school. I think it’s really important to take a step back and put yourself first and pull everything into perspective, and this piece really resounded with me
Liked by 1 person - FCPS teacher here. Good for you! TJ is great in many ways, but it isn’t for everyone. I know parents mean well when they push their kids to excel, but many parents need to back off some. YES, teens sometimes need a push. But if constant pressure is needed, then something is wrong. The truth about being older/more experienced is that we can see that doing XYZ may help in ways that a teen cannot understand. But we also need to remember that getting into Duke or Harvard is only ONE path to potential success. We can’t all go there, nor should we – and valuing the path that you ARE capable of and willing to follow is just as important.Liked by 1 person
- What’s wrong with Asian parents aspiring for their kids to be great in a society that deems them invisible?
- Eh, this strikes me as a great big bunch of hooey. TJ was difficult, and very stressful. But life is hard, unless you don’t want to accomplish much, then it can be really easy. Take your pick. Just don’t criticize TJ for being to high stress, or the admissions process for being artificial or something like that. If you graduate TJ, as I did in 1989, you know that you can pretty much do anything if you just keep at it. And that self confidence based upon actual toil and accomplishment cannot be gained in any other way.
- Wasn’t going to comment as I did not attend a STEM or other magnet high school … but you, Shawn, have missed the mark. Toil and accomplishment can be found in many places, not just one high school in the whole world, and that’s part of what this person is trying to say. If the only accomplishment you have in your life is attending that high school, that’s pretty sad. (We’re not far apart in age.) I had the option of attending such a school, but for personal reasons chose not to. STEM isn’t my field, though I could have qualified and probably succeeded. My sister and several friends did go to such schools, and flourished, and I am proud of them and for them. But even they will tell you, it’s what they did after that matters, and the things they learned about themselves while being at the school, more than the actual classes, that were truly important. (I could go on, but I won’t … I tend to go on ADD-rambles, and that’s annoying. But please tell us you did more in life than just succeed at high school.)Liked by 1 person
- Graduated in ’95. It was an amazing environment and culture. 8th period for student activities and plenty of options with electives to explore topics, concepts, and see if curiosities became passions. Back then the issue was grade inflation where if you ended up getting a few B’s you would no longer be in the elite 4.0 or higher category. Cheating happened but not nearly to the extent it apparently has gotten to. It is a shame that a school developed and maintained to be focused on cultivating and deepening interests in STEM has become so obsessed with results, outcomes, and not so much about developing passion for learning.
- I agree. This constant competition to be the BEST is interfering with real learning and finding your passion in life. It’s also creating elitism even in our children at an early age. Success is not defined by your intellectual prowess or where you attend school. Success is deemed by if you feel fulfilled in your life. Way down deep inside ourselves we know if we’re happy with ourselves and what we are doing. I’m in my 50s. My role in life has changed over the years. What brought joy and fulfillment in my 20s would not be satisfying to me in my 50s. Learning is important but finding joy in learning is more important. Life’s work is important. Finding joy in your life’s work is more important. Follow your instincts and that small voice that speaks to you deep down. It’s never wrong. Great piece. Thanks for writing it.Liked by 1 person
- After reading this, I’ve got to say: I’m incredibly glad I studied in Europe where high school was fun, exciting and where I got to experience and enjoy life and not only get trapped in this vicious school-cycle I’m reading about here. I got to study at Uni I wanted (STEM field) and even to get a PhD. I think this whole school system you have in the US is totally messed up. When are people going to enjoy life if not in the crazy teenage years? Also not to mention the costs and your debts after graduating… Jeez. Like I said, I’m glad not to have studied in the US.Liked by 2 people
- I feel like you’re driving at two things: Authenticity and Meritocracy.Authenticity:
People play the Status Game all throughout life. In New York, it starts in kindergarden (or earlier, in a 2s or 3s program) – you have to get into the right/a “good” kindergarden to make sure you get into the right high school, to make sure you get into the right college, to make sure you wind up at the right tech company/best law firm/hedge fund/whatever. Then, they can live in the right suburb, make sure that their kids go to the right school, retire to the right retirement community, and get buried in the right cemetery.For some people, that’s their whole life, and they deserve our pity. However, at times, everyone does this a little. Status matters and names open doors. The dumbest kid at Harvard may have an easier time getting a job than the valedictorian at Radford. So, let’s not pat ourselves on the back too hard for being the only authentic, true people around. And is it really reasonable to expect people to commit to a STEM career at age 13, anyways?I don’t have any great ideas on how to police/fix this as applied to TJ, and I doubt you do, either. Maybe admissions could place more emphasis on interviews and the personalities of the 8th graders, and less on their test scores and grades. Maybe they could focus more on diversity, racial as well as socioeconomic. Maybe there should be more public magnet schools in NoVA, for arts and humanities.I’d encourage you to find general solace in the fact that human beings, regardless of their intelligence or subject expertise, are somewhat decent at figuring out when people are being fake or careerist, and are pretty quick to hold it against them.But generally, a life well-lived is its own reward, and immiserating yourself to climb the US News & World Reports college ranking so that your parents can brag to other parents at dinner parties is its own punishment.Meritocracy:
In part, you observe a microcosm of what is happening in America today. Intergenerational economic mobility is at multi-decade lows, the gini coefficient is at multi-decade highs. The rich have more and more, and they make sure that their kids win all the prizes.But insofar as your concerns are specific to TJ, I’d say, first of all, that whole Graphene lab thing sounds super sketchy and probably a local newspaper or the WaPo should do some digging.As far as the rest of the integrity concerns (cheating, etc), I haven’t really seen any evidence, but wouldn’t be shocked. I’d be a little surprised if it was pervasive and consistent enough to have much of an effect (like can you really cheat your way into Harvard from TJ, being a C student who constantly cheats in all classes to get As?) but sure it’s bad.It’s a little bit funny, because your first complaint is that people are focused on the College Status game, and your second complaint is that the rules of the College Status game aren’t being properly enforced.On the one hand, they could institute an honor code, mandatory explusion back to base school for anyone caught cheating, have unique, in-classroom tests for everyone with no take-home component. This would be a lot of work for the teachers and a lot of kids would hate it.Or, TJ could do what Yale Law does, and make everything Pass/Fail. Maybe let the teachers give out one High Pass per ten students per semester or something.Anyways, good luck out there. The world is a mess, and nobody’s gonna fix it for us.Liked by 1 person - I did not go to TJ. I went to public school in upstate ny. That school was not ranked and is not today gold, silver, or even bronze by us news, let alone being a top 10 school. What w e had was a well rounded experience with excellent teachers who cared about developing good, cooperative humans. i could have graduated a year early, but a wise Mom once told me, “What is the rush?” I ended up staying in highschool and graduated top of my class, but also was captain of the wrestling team, Marching band, chorus, even was in some musicals, competed in Olympics of the mind, taught myself computer science, was active injunior classical league and Explorers(visiting GE, ALCAN and other companies meeting engineers). I found the extracurriculars were as important, perhaps more so, than only the academics. I didn’t need a ranked school, I only needed my own motivation, and drive. I got into VA Tech, earned a bs ee (electrical engineering) worked for IBM through college as a coop student after my freshman year, later went to lawschool at George Mason and became a patent lawyer, worked at latge firms and now have my own. I believe there is a misguided overemphasis on sports at most US schools and a misguided overemphasis at academics at most stem schools. I was once encouraged at IBM to think of my life as a bicycle wheel, to have a smooth ride, you can’t have different length spokes, they must be in balance. Think of life as a bunch of spokes, keep each of the spokes equally balanced. I used to coach soccer, now I coach high school robotics teams (currently 3 vex, 1 ftc, 1 frc) and assist eading a bsa scout troop. I see kids devastated for not making it into TJ. I tell them trust me, you don’t need TJ. They don’t believe me often. The parents are a big issue as you guess, putting too much pressure on their kids. You only live once, enjoy life. Most of your life you will work, don’t start too early; there is a reason child labor is outlawed in advanced societies, take the time to enjoy your youth while you’ve got it. No need to join the rat race, too early.Liked by 1 person
- I totally agree Ralph. I have 4 kids. NONE of them took AP classes in high school. All of them went to “regular” high schools. All of them were in extra curricular activities and all had part time jobs in high school. They all went to college. None went to BIG name schools, yet they all graduated. They all obtained jobs and all have careers they enjoy. They’re living balanced lives with plenty of time for fun, travel, social activites, and several starting their families. Two were run of the mill average students in high school. But both had extra curricular activities that they excelled in and it was those extra curricular activities that gave them their confidence and ability to tough it out in college. I am VP of a non-profit called Payton’s Project. This organization formulated a year ago after the suicide death of a young lady in our neighborhood in PW County. We are looking at the mental health crisis in our young kids today and trying to help change the culture in schools. Kindness campaigns are beginning in our schools here. Buddy systems when new kids enroll in the local high school. Making kids aware of the warning signs of depression, anxiety, and suicide ideation and giving them the tools to know where to get help and how to stay “in balance.” Supporting things such as meditation and yoga. Training in anti-bullying. Creating small peer groups across elementary, middle, high school and college of kids who have experienced or currently being bullied to assist one another through that experience. Getting couseling for kids who bully so they can get to the root cause of why they are behaving in this manner and hoping to show them another path. Helping children see that failing a test or having to drop out of AP to take a “regular” class doesn’t mean they’re a failure for life. And in the grand scheme of life, it’s a tiny little blip. We have begun a scholarship program for every high school in Prince William County. One senior from each high school will earn a $1000 scholarship to any post high school education of their choice. Could be college, but doesn’t have to be college. The ONLY criteria of earning this scholarship is exemplifying kindness/inclusiveness in their daily walk. Or overcoming bullying in their life. The young lady who committed suicide — bullying was part of the reason for her death. Life holds so much variety. We can’t all be PERFECT at everything nor should we aspire to be. A smorgasboard of activities in your life makes you well rounded and also more interesting as a person. It gives one broader perspective and just more life experience. You learn more skills. Life is a journey. There are so many nuances. Live it to the fullest and follow that tiny voice within. That voice is usually “spot” on. Suicides are at an all time high in Northern Virginia. Check out the stats. Too many kids checking out and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. Truly check out the most recent stats. In VA between 2013 and 2014 there was a 34.5% rise in suicides between ages of 14-17. (These are the most recent stats posted as of now.) There have been a number of suicides in both Loudoun and Prince William County high schools over the last two years. I don’t know the Fairfax stats, but I’m sure they are similar to PW County and Loudoun, possibly more due to the higher population of that county. It’s becoming an epidemic and we need to turn the tide. Thanks Angela for writing this blog. It’s important coming froma recent graduate. It is very timely and what we have come to realize at Payton’s Project as we have been researching this topic for the last year. If anyone wants to learn more go to Freeze Bullying for Payton facebook page. Thank you.Liked by 1 person
- Completely agree. I went to a school that was in the top ten and you could see it. My grade had the highest dropout rate in history because people applied to my school for the name and the recognition. Once they saw how work and studying had to be put in to maintain a decent grade, many of the left. A few openly admitted to only coming because their parents had made them.My mother is pushing my brother to go to the same school, putting him in prep classes and begging me to prepare him for the exam, but what about after? He is far behind where I was at his age and staying there took way more work than my brother is willing to put into school. He doesn’t love it the way I did and I don’t want him to feel bad about not being as “smart” as the kids around him.Part of me wishes that I had gone to a regular school because mine was specialized and we didn’t have any sports. I know from experience how stressful the race to be the rest is and how difficult it is to be there when 90% of your grade is in the high A range. Going to a school like TJ has it’s advantages in name, rank and everything else that comes with it but it’s not for everyone. Just because you’re smart doesn’t mean a magnet school is for you which is something a lot of people don’t get.Liked by 1 person
- Perhaps instead of telling our students, “You’ve got to get in to the #1 HS in America,” the message should be “You’ve got to make your HS #1 in America.”(Idiocy of believing there is such a thing as ‘#1 HS in America’ at all aside, of course.)Liked by 1 person
- This article wonderfully articulated a lot of what students at my high school have been discussing. I go to another “top” regional magnet high school in Richmond, and we’ve recently been struggling with a lot of these issues. As our administration has chosen to emphasize rankings, test scores, and college acceptances, students have suffered. The school was designed to be a safe haven for students with a genuine passions for the humanities (as opposed to STEM), but it’s become a pressure cooker where students mindlessly take ap classes they don’t enjoy and participate in extracurriculars they don’t care about for an arbitrary resumé boost, all in the hopes of one day achieving society’s version of success. There no meaningful culture of learning or intellectualism, just students who push themselves to the point of exhaustion and mental/physical collapse. We praise “the best” students, we strive to be the ones accepted to ivy leagues– but at what cost? It’s clear (to some of us) that this outlook is detrimental to students, but it’s less clear how any of it is going to change without more meaningful advocacy and involvement on the part of students. Thanks for writing this piece– these things need to be discussed if anything in the system is going to give.Liked by 1 person
- I turned down TJ for years because I knew I would not fit in with my sarcastic sense of humor. I began dropping out of my AP classes one by one at Robinson, and finally dropped out altogether because I was bored. I was a homeless hitchhiker for a few years. I now own my own company and also have an engineering position, as well as a daughter beginning college at 14. Not every puzzle pieces fits where you want, people. Maybe what you really want to finish your perfect puzzle completes an different picture altogether?Liked by 1 person
- Scott, you need to tell your story to struggling high schoolers. Not every size fits all and we need to offer our kids many different approaches/paths to learning. College life is not for all kids right after high school. They need to see there are success stories with adults who have taken many different paths. I’m so happy you found yourself and what made you happy in your own walk. Your story needs to be shared!
- i went to a similar high school, then an ivy, then grad school, only to realize i was on a path heading far away from my actual interests. i can’t agree enough with this post. good on you for having figured this out at 20; i wish i had, and i wish other do, too.keep writing, keep following your heart, keep binge-eating carrot muffins.love, an old millennialLiked by 3 people
- I love this. As someone who went to a former #1 public school that was culturally destructive, and is now even far more stressful than in my ye olden days (because top colleges want racial and geo diversity), I totally relate. And as a parent of young kids, I am passionate about finding a great school, but not “the best” school. I was jealous of my friends from less-great schools because there they shined and were appreciated for their passion and hard work, rather than whipped for not being “the best.” I like your style and if you ever are looking for a job, be in touch.Liked by 1 person
- PS I found this post because an old H.S. friend shared it with me and jokingly said, “Did you write this?” He knew I’d love it. Respect.Liked by 1 person
Best wishes on your journey.
As much as I loved some of your points, I would also like to address some. As a first generation asian student, it’s important that our academics are valued in our lives. Okay… that sounds like something a lot of people would criticize immediately, but let me explain…
About the level of stress and pressure to start prepping so young and do so many things at once as a child, and in many cases due to parental pressure rather than the child’s own passions — from west coast elite schools, both eerily similar and a new perspective.
-TJ ’03