Essay Test: From fearing to fail to a global perspective--a riding lesson

I just want to get this over with.

It is 8am on the first day of the Spanish Show Jumping Nationals. I am sitting on the empty white bleachers facing the frightening four foot five jumps. I have worked all year to win this Championship. I am nervous, so nervous I can’t eat breakfast. I feel like I have a big bug in my stomach consuming all of my energy. It’s been this way for the past five years. I am so scared that I won’t do well, and that I will drop a pole and doom my chances. By the time I went through the third jump I proved myself right.

Let’s rewind. This was 2014. This is how I used to think.

It is 8am on the first day of the Spanish Show Jumping Nationals— 2015. I am seating on the white bleachers, relaxed. Because this year like every other year I have put hours on end into my passion, riding. Unlike any other year I have trained my mind simultaneously. I am not scared of failing, because I know that regardless of the outcome, my world goes beyond this event and this event does not define who I am.

As the audience silences to watch the first rider compete, I hear yelling behind me. I turn back to see a young girl, maybe thirteen, with a pure fear in her eyes. This bubble in which I find myself, pops. The ability of viewing the world in the context I have acquired through my experiences as a global citizen sinks in.

The eyes, the nose, and even the hair of the children I had the chance to play with in the many different places I’ve been fortunate enough to travel to are different from mine. Due to my family’s circumstances I discovered what the world has to offer from a very young age. Looking at diversity with wide open eyes has taught me tolerance, to love change and to embrace uniqueness. However, my journey towards adulthood happened a little more than two years ago when we moved to Singapore. In this country, as picture perfect as it seems, I have learned to accept the imperfections within me and around me; to live alongside those who think and act differently. Through community service projects, I have been able to feel the love from those who never received it; and to see the smiles of those who were once scared to show their faces. My constant search for challenge has helped me grow, persevere and keep an open mind. I learned how to put situations into perspective and give them no more than the importance they deserve.

Now it is my turn.

Elinck and I are ready; we enter the arena, I take three deep breaths, and with full consciousness I canter to my first jump. We clear it. From that point on I know that if we were able to go through one we can go through the next eleven. We keep cantering at a constant pace waiting for the next jump to come to us. We get over each one. We are connected, competing in unity, for a common goal: to excel. Every stride, every jump, and every breath in the arena is conscious one, from beginning to end. I cherished this course, I confronted it with a relaxed mind and putting all the knowledge I have acquired this past year into action.

This minute and twenty six seconds seemed like a lifetime, yet I didn’t drop a pole.

There are so many ways to experience the obstacles that we encounter during our lives; it is a matter of choosing which way makes you happier. I decide to see my life through a positive and open lens. I decide to live my life with consciousness and exhilarating passion.

This  essay was submitted to highly selective universities.

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Questions

Rate this essay from 1-5 with 5 being the highest rating. What rating did you give and why?

What is the tone of this essay? How would you describe the voice of the writer?

What personal traits does the writer demonstrate through her narrative and through her words?

What is a global citizen? Does this student meet your definition? Why or why not?

Will this student add diversity to the school she attends? How important a factor should this be in admission?

English is not this student’s first language. Should that be given consideration in evaluating her essay? Why or why not?

Should a student who has a special talent be given extra consideration in admission? Are some talents more important than others and if so which ones?

Are some activities inherently better than others when it comes to admission to selective schools? If so, which ones?

Do you have preconceived biases? For example, do you make judgments about people who participate in certain activities? Are you sure about your answers?

Would you want this student as your roommate?

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I want to thank Maria for letting me post her essay here. I also want to thank her for letting me post photos of her competing. As the last photo attests she is an exceptionally talented rider. She has devoted unending hours to her passion and it shows.