Essay Test: The Art of Science--Superman, Solitude, and Salt

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

A million fist sized globes of color float in a symmetric grid that surrounds me. My eyes helplessly follow the silvery lines linking one globe to the next, and just watching it all makes me feel like I am flying through Superman's Fortress of Solitude, over the same otherworldly void--only tinted blue and red. In front of me at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History is the giant ionic structure of NaCl, the very molecule we put on our popcorn, only magnified 42 million billion times larger, and about 42 million billion times more fascinating. It is strange yet welcoming to find something so theoretically familiar in such a foreign place, as if I've found a frame of my own memory projected for all to see.

My brain shifts into camera mode. I'm the director, cinematographer, and the actor. I imagine how I'd film myself. As the camera pans right and starts to dolly out, my silhouette enters the frame, dark against the dazzling chemical background. The camera stops panning when I am aligned along the right vertical third of the frame. I face away from the camera, absorbed inside my holographic world of salt, appreciating how art can be so scientific, and how science can be so beautiful. Equipped with the language of chemistry, I greedily discover the textures and colors that matched the chemical formulas I'd met on paper. From meeting the uranium of my half-life calculations, to discovering the platinum that catalyzes the reforming of hydrocarbons, I felt on top of the world; for me, it was the science, not the glamour, that gave meaning to the gems and minerals in the gallery. I did not care how much the emerald cost, what Greek myths surrounded the amethyst, or who stole the Hope Diamond, nearly as much as what molecular composition each stone had, what conditions gave the shine to a gem, and what impurities gave the crystals their colors.

The world is a feast for the senses, but I yearn for an understanding that reaches beyond the naked eye, to experience beyond the colors of a butterfly or the touch of a tarantula into the molecular realm of chemistry. I know that learning more will help me achieve an understanding that will only strengthen my wonder at the world around me. Soon after I found my salty scientific haven, I started inviting guests to visit. Some may think that scientists live in fortresses of solitude, but my favorite part of science is sharing my research with others. After all, knowledge that stays in the head is a wasted opportunity for innovation. I believe that one half of science is beauty and art that anyone can admire. From the beautiful symmetry within a simple grain of salt, to the mesmerizing models of hybridization, or the tetrahedral geometry of the carbon atoms that distinguish a diamond, the art of science inspires me to inspire others.

I can't wait to delve deeper into the molecular realm of matter, where I know I'll find magnificent shapes and patterns inconceivable to even the most creative mind, and the satisfaction of being able to explain a tiny part of our unbelievably vast universe. Science expands my interpretation of life to a spectrum that stretches from vast to tiny; I have to only pan out and see the bigger picture, or zoom in for a look at the very molecules that create our infinitely complex world. To satisfy my artistic craving, and fuel a scientific imagination wilder than pure fiction, I attended Interlochen Summer Arts Camp, and took my first classes in screenwriting, film production, and acting. With art, I craft an outlet for universal communication of my passion for the stories of science and beyond. I love telling stories that bewilder, and for me, the science of how we came to be tells the most incredible story of all.

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The above essay was submitted  to highly selective colleges and universities in response to the Common Application prompt.

Questions

Rate this essay from 1-5 with 5 being the highest. What rating did you give it and why?

How would you describe the tone of this essay? How would describe this student’s voice? What is the writing style? 

Does this student follow the advice to show instead of tell? Support your answer?

Does this student demonstrate curiosity?  If so how important should this be in an admission decision?

Many schools talk about the need for applicants to demonstrate passion in their applications. Does this student succeed in doing this?

Does this essay support the belief that this student would make a good scientist?

What are the best ways a student can demonstrate scientific ability on the Common Application?

Is this student artistic and creative? Support your answer.

Does this essay successfully create a short movie for readers to "see"?

Is this student smart? If so, how do you know?

If you had to describe this student based on this essay what would you say --male/female, race or ethnicity, geographical origin, economic background? Should any/all of these factors be a part of how an admission officer evaluates an essay? Why or why not?

Would you like this person as a roommate?