Essay Test: a person who has written a particular text is a....

The following essay was submitted to a highly selective university in response to this question: What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?

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I have a Webster’s New World College, Fourth Edition, given to me as prize in an essay contest. There is just the right number of tiny illustrations. Margins aren’t too big.  Webster doesn’t beat around the bush, but it doesn’t skimp out on the good stuff either. And the red flecks on the thin page-edges stretch perfectly when you leaf through with your thumb. I recommend Webster’s New World College, Fourth Edition.

I have to marvel at the dictionary. In complete honesty I would call it one of the most impressive literary feats ever. Every word is fat with histories: little nuances of connotation that would take pages and years to articulate but have been squeezed into the right-angled rules of the dictionary. Parts of speech. Syllables denote. Etymologies parenthesized and spelled out with dizzy e’s and a’s with strange hats. Millions of definitions numbered and categorized. Small, emotionless illustrations. All alphabetized. The whole of the English language, evolved from its first grunt in a cave to the  internet chatter of  two teenagers, has been stuffed into the precisely regulated world of the dictionary, and distilled into a single volume

For any given hour, I would rather fold myself into the dictionary than any other book.  I am, after all, a writer. Leafing through the wispy pages as I write this essay I inspect random words, and roll them around over my tongue, swallow, move down the page. Spit this one out, chew that one for a little longer, write that one on your hand, you want to use that one. Some of them vibrate like tuning forks with etymologies: remember those. Sharpen the sword, English is a thousand years in the making,  don’t waste that perfect patina that is alphabetized for you.

Rate this essay, from 1-5 with 5 being the highest mark. What mark did you give it and why?

How would describe the voice of this student?

Would you advise this student to edit the sentence fragments that are part of the text? Why or why not?

What three words would you use to describe this essay?

What three words would you use to describe this student?

What is etymology? 

Does the dictionary  fit into the categories the question asks students to consider? Defend your answer.

This student says he/she is a writer? Would you encourage this student to continue writing based on this essay?

Is this student smart?

Would you want to have this student in a class with you?

Would you want to teach this student?

Does this essay predict the student will do well academically? Defend your answer.

Would you want this student as a roommate? Why or why not?

Define the word student.