Essay Test: Content and Context, Music as Haven

The following essay was submitted to highly selective colleges and universities.

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A wrong decision can be the beginning or ending to a lifestyle. In the seventh grade, I nearly ended my music career by opting to select a simple course—Music in Our Lives—that met the state music requirement. But this decision would have left me empty. With the help of Mrs. Brown, my then orchestra teacher, I was able to not only meet the basic requirement, but also continue the beginning of my musical journey. I am now a violinist who has played joyously for nine years. I also now take music in my life. It is the first self –taught-and longest course I have ever taken.

Music has become the spark of my intellectual curiosity. I directly developed my capacity to think creatively around problems due to the infinite possibilities in music. There are millions of combinations of key signatures, chords, melodies, and rhythms in the world of music that wait to become attached to a sheet of staff lines and spaces.  As I began to explore a minute fraction of these combinations from the third grade onwards, my mind began to formulate roundabout methods to solve any mathematical problem, address any literature prompt, and discover any exit in an undesirable situation. In middle school, my mind also started to become adept in the language of music. Playing the works of different composers such as Kol Nidrei by Max Bruch or Coliolan Overture by Ludwig Van Beethoven expands my diverse musical vocabulary, my breadth of techniques and my ability to practice in order to succeed in solo performances.

Music has also been my medium for my roles in the community. While onstage as Big Jule of Guys and Dolls my favorite musical, I helped create a wonderful atmosphere in the school auditorium by singing and dancing. Whenever I perform, whether as a bassist in Men’s Doo Wop group or as a violinist in the Chamber Ensemble, I become immersed in the conversations between performers and the audience. As I become lost in these conversations, I create blissful memories in which I am truly part of my community’s culture-and eventually its history. I would not have the admiration of my teachers and friends if I had not let the charisma of music persuade me to become a performer in my school, town, and state.

                                                 Guys and Dolls, PBS production

Lastly, music has become the educator that has taught me the importance of leadership, teamwork, and friendship. It has taught me the importance or order and balance. When I lead a group I know how strong that group can be if every member puts one hundred percent effort into our task.  Leadership is not always about directing others. The most important task of a leader is to create harmony between each member of the group, which reveals the group’s maximum potential. With improvement and balance comes success and music taught me all of these virtues. The bonds I have made throughout my school years endure through stress.  These powerful bonds came to be because my friends and I endured against the adversity found in high-level pieces of musical literature. I thank my teachers, viola and voice for creating the environments that nurtured these friendship and learning experiences.

My haven for solace in and away from home is in the world of composers, harmonies and possibilities. My musical haven has shaped my character and without it my life would not be half as wonderful as it is today. It was a wise decision to turn down Music in Our Lives. The self-guided journey known as music in my life excites my mind every day. My heart sings every day because the journey is already wonderful. Although I hope that my future career is in medicine, I love that still have much to learn about and from the world of music.                                                                                    

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 Rate this essay from 1-5 with 5 being the highest. What rating did you give and why?

Does this essay show rather than tell or tell rather than show?

Based on this essay how talented a musician is this student?

Do you think this student comes across a one-dimensional or as someone who applies his passion for music to everything in his life? Could it be both?

If this student submits a music supplement and the faculty does not judge this student to have a special talent will this essay still be a positive factor in his overall evaluation? Why or why not?

Compare this essay with the one posted yesterday. From a formal standpoint, is one essay better than another?

 Should the student who wrote about running have picked a different topic that is more connected to a specific interest or does the way he talked about running speak to his character and motivation?

Based on the essays which of the two students do you think you would learn the most from?  Why did you pick the one you did?

Are either of the essays weak enough that you think it would encourage you not to accept the student to a highly selective school? 

Doe the mention of premed at the end of the essay help or hurt or it does not matter?  

How important do you think essays should be when selecting student to highly selective universities or colleges?