Found in Translation: Interview with "in-betweener", leader, and seer

Vanessa needs no introduction. Her words need to be translated to many around the globe who want to know how to move successfully between languages, lands, and cultures.

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Could you tell us a little about yourself? Where did you grow up, go to primary and secondary school? 

I was born in Forest Hills, NY in a predominantly Jewish community. As a toddler, I moved several times between New York and Hefei, juggled between my parents and my grandparents in China. My primary school years were divided between Hefei, Forest Hills, and River Edge, New Jersey, a quiet suburb my family later moved to. As for secondary school, it was largely similar to primary school in the sense that I didn’t stay in any one place for too long—I jumped from River Edge to Nanchang to Hangzhou in the span of 4 to 5 years.

Chinese New Year's dinner with family in Hefei

Can you describe in what ways your family helped you to become an outstanding student who would be accepted to a top research university? Were you pushed or did you push yourself or was it some of both?

My parents were never really involved with my studies; it was very much self-regulated. I think the main reason is because feeling like I wasn’t doing as well as people around me, or that what I was achieving wasn’t up to my own standards, ate at my nerves like nothing else did. This was the driving force that motivated me to have defined goals and to work hard to achieve them. In high school, I knew I wanted to be a translator/interpreter and I knew I wanted to be in the States to learn more about the English language and culture. So I researched the schools that had the best liberal arts communities in the nation, and my chosen University was undoubtedly one of them. Whenever I developed a target goal, I get a sort of tunnel vision focus—either do it, or do it. This can be bad for being open-minded to other opportunities and flexibility, but I try to put as much thought as possible when I’m setting up the things I want to achieve to compensate.
My mother once said something that I kept with me, and that was, “There are times in life where you need to give it your all—and you usually are able to give more without exhaustion when you’re young.”

You have described yourself as an in-betweener. What do you mean by this? It sounds a bit like what Ema Yamasaki talks about in her film "Neither Here nor There", a film about TCKs (third culture kids) who don’t really have a place to call ‘home’ (her interview is on my blog). Do you see similarities with her experience?

 Liu Lang Wen Ying, Hangzhou, China

Yes, I think many TCKs can relate to each others’ experience, and I do see similar struggles that I’ve had through the course of my journey through life with that of Ema’s. One of the prominent difficulties, especially at a younger age when we are trying to develop a sense of identity and perhaps belonging, is the issue of identity. When I moved to Nanchang, China as a 13-year-old I almost immediately realized that I wasn’t seen as Chinese.

Shanghai Expo trip with best friends

My homeroom teacher tugged me in front of the podium before the entire class and introduced me as, “our new American student,” and the way everyone looked at me made it clear that I was not a part of them. During class, whenever negative things were said about any aspect of America, many of my classmates would turn around in their chairs and stare at me, some embarrassed and some accusing.



The same thing applies in America, although in America where the population is more diverse, being a non-white individual was not as shocking. Although in America I was and am not seen as American, but Chinese, or sometimes simply “Asian.” But at one point, I just had to get over the fact that the place you are born or where you grew up or what you look like doesn’t define who I am, doesn’t define my identity. It’s much more about what you make yourself to be—your character, your beliefs, your passions, your achievements.

What are the significant differences between Chinese American and Chinese nationals who come to study in the US? Is there a wall between these two groups and if so why do you think this is? (It is certainly true that students from Latin America and American born Latinos rarely socialize—class differences and cultural differences like this are common but not well known to those who are not part of these groups as most others just perceive them as a big lump).

There is definitely a barrier between Chinese American students and Chinese nationals, and this can be seen at my university as well. Of course, it’s not a definite that these two groups don’t socialize—but it is usually the case. Unlike what you stated about the Latin America and American born Latinos, with the Chinese American and Chinese nationals, it’s not so much a matter of class than it is a matter of cultural differences. From what I’ve come in contact with and know about the Chinese nationals, they seem to think the Chinese Americans (especially those who speak Chinese poorly and have never been to China) aren’t qualified to be Chinese at all, since they “can’t even speak Chinese”. A popular term that is used to reference Chinese Americans amongst Chinese nationals when I was in China is “banana”—yellow on the outside, white on the inside. As for Chinese Americans, they seem to not be able to relate to Chinese nationals because the latter seems an somewhat exclusive group that doesn’t branch out often into the surrounding community.

Who do you hang out with most of the time and why?
I usually feel the most comfortable around people who have had similar experiences, not necessarily my specific China-America background, but people who have moved around, or have been immersed in different cultures. It’s so fascinating to hear about different perspectives, comparisons between cultures, and the effects these things have on people in general.

Do you feel pressure to conform to certain kinds of behavior within your friends?

To be honest, I try to avoid hanging out with a group of people. My friends are usually very spread out in terms of what social groups they belong to and I usually choose to interact with them one-on-one. However, I have noticed that I alter the way I speak or express myself, and of course change the topics I talk about, when I’m with different people. Sometimes, even my accent changes!

Can you tell us about your academic interests?  When did you first become interested in writing, editing, publishing?

I have been interested in writing for a long, long time. Especially when I was a child, I hated verbal communication. Speaking in front of other people was almost physically painful for the excruciatingly shy girl that I was back then. Instead, I found solace in writing, a place where I could flex my imagination as much as I wanted to, to spin endless stories and fantasies and delve deeper into my own mind and all the possibilities within. Even my diary entries were mainly fiction—they were based off of my imagination and my dreams. I wrote my first poem when I was in fourth grade, and ever since I’ve used it as the medium to express things that otherwise could not be expressed.

Art project: Final Performance

As for editing and publishing, I became more interested in those fields after I entered college and got involved with the student newpaper and V Magazine. The way that these written publications can reach so many people and perhaps cause a much wider impact was very attractive to me—the way that words and expression can greatly alter the way people think and feel. The resulting dialogues are quite interesting and informative.

Do you have a mentor at your university?

I have had quite a number of professors that have inspired, influenced, or comforted me in some way or other. These encounters have been brief but personal. Perhaps one of the long standing influences on me has been Professor Charles Laughlin. It is really awe-inspiring that he has achieved such high-level proficiency not only in the Chinese language, but with the understanding of the culture, society, and history as well. I’ve taken several courses in Chinese literature and translation with him, and his comments about the intersectionality between Chinese culture and language with English is illuminating and gives me more conviction that there can be many strong and profound ties between the two.

Do you have advice for prospective students about choosing classes, majors or intellectual passions?

Contrary to instinct, I think that it is best to stay away from introductory type courses when you’re first starting out—or maybe always. They are very broad and unfocused, and the amount of information can be too overwhelming. I made the mistake of taking four my first year first semester, and the aftermath is still haunting my GPA today… As for choosing a major, I think if you know what you want to major in, then declare the major your first year. It doesn’t tie you down if you do—you’ll finish your major in around 2 ½ to 3 years if you just concentrate on taking major-related classes. Which also means you’ll have plenty of time to choose and explore classes as well. There’s no rush.

Can you describe the magazine you are in charge of and why you think it is worth so much time and effort? Who do you think gets the most out of reading it? 

The magazine that I co-president with Brendan (a 3rd year student at my university) is called V Magazine, and it is the only fashion and art centered magazine on grounds so far. We have a vision for the magazine that deviates from what it has been since it launched in 2009 and right now, as we finish polishing it for print, I really think it is taking shape. One of my dreams as a teenager was to become a fashion designer and that enthusiasm for fashion as a form or expression and art is still with me today. My academic experience at my university has been quite good, but I never found a way that students who were interested or passionate about fashion design could develop their skills and knowledge. The vision that Brendan and I have for the magazine is for it to serve as a platform for student designers on grounds to showcase their work in our bi-annual photo shoot, and also to turn away from the Cosmopolitan inspired fast food type fashion and entertainment, to launch a fashion and arts dialogue that is to be taken more seriously, and have the information provided be more long-lasting and enriching. That’s always worth working hard for.



Do you consider yourself a leader? If so, what traits make for a good leader?

Contrary to what admissions offices and recruiters may want to hear, I rarely describe myself as a “leader.” When I was studying in China, “leadership skills” are almost never addressed. In most cases, a student was expected to be obedient, studious, and respectful. When I was applying for university, I remember one of the questions to be something along the lines of “Describe your leadership skills”, and I thought, “Wow, that’s so pretentious, to immediately assume yourself to be a leader. If the vast majority of people consider themselves leaders, who helps them do the actual work?” Now, I think that being a “leader” is a bit overrated in the literal sense of the word. I think the most valuable traits are to be adaptable, flexible, and able. Sometimes you work alone, sometimes with other people. Sometimes you are well-suited to lead a group or even a global organization and sometimes you will do better as the person who executes the steps needed to complete a project. It’s all about knowing what your capabilities are and knowing whether or not you’re suited for a position. If you’ve got great people skills and organizational skills, but your knowledge of a project is lacking, then why lead?

Vanessa wth her Mother

Do you consider yourself a role model? If others wanted to follow your path what should they do?

Role models are often idealized. I’m far from being a perfect person and still have much to accomplish and learn before I can come close to satisfying myself. However, I think that one of the keys to building a life and character that one is happy about is to find things about people that are inspiring, relatable, or controversial. This kind of process will help with getting a sense of what you believe in, the way you think, and how that can benefit or detract from the way you work, live, and love.  Everybody has their own path to walk, but I would say that the guiding hand for me has been to recognize that each of us is a unique and valuable person even without certain degrees from elite schools or one’s “accomplishments” and that most of the meaning of life is just to find ways to enrich one’s mind and excavate the innate potential of that very mind through travel, through reading, through an open heart.

Do you find encounter the model minority myth to be a part of your experience at university? If so, in what way?

Well, I supposed “Asians” are expected to be smart and science-oriented. But in the University bubble, there seems to be less of the model minority dynamic. People are more inclined to laugh and joke about stereotypes, which is better than silently assuming their truth.

Do you think there is racism against Asians in education and society as a whole? Have you encountered it in your own experience?

Ballroom Dance Competition

I’ve never really encountered much outright racism against Asians in education and society here in the U.S. Maybe because most of the time I’m pretty oblivious and focused on what I need to do. Honestly though, I’ve encountered more outright racism directed towards me from “my own people”, though that is perhaps not telling of what actually goes on in the heads of the people around me in the U.S. In China, if a person knew I was born in America, my actions were more likely to be judged as pretentious, self-righteous, and “loose.” Once when I was in line during recess in high school to make our mandatory shots at the basketball hoop, I mentioned to a friend how I didn’t like how many boys in our high school respected a girl only if she was a virgin, but it was okay for themselves to go out to brothels. To my great surprise, a girl behind me flared up with animosity, and said bitterly, “What do you know about it? Don’t think you’re better than us just because you’re American. You people with your lascivious habits and one-night stands. In comparison, we’re much better. At least we still have virgins.”

Do you have long-term goals for what you want to do and where you want to be?

Right now my biggest goal is to become a translator/interpreter. I recently finished applying to the Chinese Translation & Interpretation program at the Monterey Institute of International Studies. Being a translator offers a lot of possibilities—you can do freelance, which will allow you to be able to travel and work anywhere you want because the work is mostly all remotely done, or if you want to stay somewhere for a longer time you can easily find a place that will be in need of translators and/or interpreters. Mainly, I want to travel, to see more of the world, and translation is something I love, that fits in perfectly with this lifestyle I wish to lead.

What advice would you give to parents who want help their children succeed?

I have no children of my own as of now, so maybe my advice won’t be practical. But I truly think that the path to success is discovered through self-found motivation. That’s the ever-present theme throughout independent adult life—you choose what to do with your own time and how to use it for the things you want to achieve. No one is going to prod at you to get your work done; no one is going to throw themselves beneath you when you fall to protect you from pain. I think letting children make mistakes and experience failure, and also experience the satisfaction and benefits that result from hard work is very essential to their development.

What will you miss most when you graduate? 

Maybe it’s because of moving around so frequently, but I always get restless after a certain period of time staying in the one place. After four years in my college town, I’m ready to leave and find new adventure. What I will probably miss most is having access to the printmaking rooms in Ruffin Hall, where I can peacefully grind my stones and draw prints, and roll them through the printing press—a physical, creative space, I suppose. It’ll be hard to find that anywhere else.

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Smart is just the start. Vanessa’s interview demonstrates a maturity far beyond her years. Those who learn to live across cultures seem to gain in wisdom even at the cost of sometimes feeling a bit lost in searching for a true home. Her exceptional communication skills indicate she will be an invaluable asset to any company or organization looking to translate mere words into works of art.

I am grateful to Vanessa for contributing her images, thoughts, and advice. She represents the new generation of leaders who will help move people closer in ways that will benefit all of us.

                                                 K Pop "Banana" Ironic or not?