Essay Test: Will The Force Be With You?

The following admission essay was submitted to highly selective universities.

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A small, far away planet glistens in the darkness. As the camera sweeps across the dense darkness, another planet appears - closer this time, embedded into its black surroundings. There is always something bigger. Then, a third planet unravels itself beneath me, its enormity spanning across the space it occupies. There is always something bigger.

Through watching Star Wars, I learned to see the world anew and understand myself too. When the screen first faded to black, I saw the reflection of a little girl who was completely captivated by the story and by the images that portrayed what makes us human: emotions, interpersonal relations, and our diversity of thought. The revealing of each new planet was akin to a new and larger facet of human personality being explored.

From the imagery of speeders that fail to touch the ground, the double sunsets, the emotive language of mechanical "beeps" and "blips", jumps to light speed, walking carpets, space chases, mind tricks, holograms, lightsabers, blasters and, of course, the unsettling rhythm of mechanised human breathing, I was faced with the age-old stories of beings, humans or otherwise, who embodied greed, arrogance, manipulation and warmongering - endlessly recurring themes in the story-telling culture of the world that we inhabit.

These stories are not only timeless, they are universal. I feel the force of the ideas that help me explore my place on this pale blue dot called Earth. This ability to express depth in meaning through art is one that I find both inspirational and fascinating. Taking inspiration from the quote "I am a limited edition", I created a self-portrait composed of only three main tonal values. As such, my realistic self-portrait was made semi-abstract by using the monochromatic effect of three distinct colours - yellow, orange and red. While all of them lie within the realm of warm colours, the realistic appeal of depth cannot be expressed without juxtaposing each colour with the other two. Yellow, for instance, can only provide the basic shape. However, with the addition of orange and, eventually, red, one can appreciate the three dimensional depth that makes me what I am. Coupled with the quote, this art piece portrays a deeper meaning that I hope stimulates my audience to look beyond the physical. There is so much more to any creation than can be seen from a glimpse of the finished product as art is not a thing, it is a way - a way of telling a story.

A similar interplay of words and images in Star Wars presents profound insights into the recurring plots that we humans follow. Returning from the galaxy created in Star Wars, I see my own existence through a different lens. I have come to think of things, people and ideas as components of each other which, when added up, give birth to a new, larger and more profound force, both in the arts and in life as well. I now see liberal arts as a combination of perspectives that enables the mixing of streams to answer deeper questions pertaining to ourselves and fellow humans.

Far from a Jedi Knight, I still know that learning is about listening to and understanding the stories of my masters. But, equally important, are my own stories. Through appreciating the story of Star Wars, I have come to embrace the largeness of the world and the diversity of thoughts, people and cultures that are intertwined within it. I am now open to the wisdom offered to me by Jedi master Yoda: "luminous beings are we... not this crude matter." We are our stories and our stories can be limitless.

Questions

Rate this essay from 1-5 with 5 being the highest rating. What rating did you give it and why?

How would you describe the writer’s voice?

What have you learned about this student from reading this essay?

Is this student male or female? Should this make a difference?

If you had to guess where is this student from? If the student is from Brazil or Kansas or Singapore should this affect how the essay should be valuated. Defend your answer?

Is this student smart? Defend your answer.

Should this essay help a student gain admission to a highly selective university?

Is it helpful to think of a personal essay as a self-portrait? Why or why not?

What advice would you give this student about how to improve this essay?

Do you think it is a risk to write about Star Wars or any other example from popular culture? Should students pick “high art” instead (Shakespeare, for example)?

Would you want this student as a roommate?