Essay Test: Counting Pennies, Self-Reliance and the American Dream

The following essay was submitted to highly selective universities in answer to this essay prompt:

 Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so  meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.

 If  this sounds like you, then please share your story.

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The laughter of my friends outside faded away as I eased the front door shut behind me. The house was quiet and I figured Mom was out working. She was always out working. After eating my after-school snack, I plopped down on the old grey couch to begin my homework. I went through the list of assignments in my head: French worksheet, science problems, English; I stopped. Above me, I could hear the sounds of someone rummaging through papers or drawers. Curious, I snuck up the stairs and found the noises coming from my room. I called out my brother’s name and was ready to playfully chase him through the house when I realized the voice that answered back was not his.

“Where’s your money box?” My mom didn’t turn to look at me, but continued to sift through the colorful notebooks and papers that cluttered my drawers.

I didn’t question why she needed it. I showed her where I had carefully hidden my tiny metal safe and drew out all of its contents – a grand total of sixty dollars, earned from selling a garage-sale’s-worth of my old toys and books.

Her tired eyes betrayed her disbelief. “Sixty? I thought you had saved more than that…” I shook my head and she shook hers, slowly, as she gingerly took the bills from my hand. “I’ll pay you back.”

A week later, after my brother and I had put away our dinner plates, Mom declared that we were out of milk and eggs. My younger brother didn’t understand why she didn’t simply buy more, but I knew. The sixty had run out. She went on to explain the situation in a way that wouldn’t upset us: the rent is due soon; your father and I won’t get our checks until a little later; I’ll pay you back. My brother’s sole twenty-dollar bill was then withdrawn from his small piggy bank. My family had to live on that twenty-dollar bill for four days. Four days where saving a dollar on a quart of milk could influence whether we had enough gas money to make it home.

This episode was, at the time, unique, but it soon began to repeat itself over and over, taking different forms every time. Sometimes I’d come home and find the lights wouldn’t come on because the electricity had been shut off, or that the home phone and Internet had been disconnected. As a kid, I accepted these occurrences as a way of life and adapted. I spent more time at school and at my mother’s office trying to finish assignments, and I asked friends to print my essays from their printers at home.

The week of counting pennies, and the hard years that have followed, taught me at a young age what instability and stress meant.  I see the rest of my life as distancing myself from that point. I’ve learned to work around my family’s financial problems to get what I want -- a way out of the hardship I grew up in. A cliché, yes, but mine is the American dream that my parents immigrated to discover. Today I work hard, in school and at home, in hopes of a bright future for my family and for myself. The desire for a financially secure future has influenced me in other ways as well. I’m a saver, not a spender. Coupon-cutter. Odd-job finder. Seeking self-reliance, and looking forward to the day when, upon hearing the phrase “I’ll pay you back,” I will be the one to say, “Don’t worry about it.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson: 'Self-Relance" 

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Questions

Rate this essay from 1-5 with 5 being the highest rating. What rating did you give it and why?

What three words would you use to describe this writer's voice?

Would this application be incomplete without this essay? In what way?

Should this applicant be given special consideration because of the family circumstances? Defend your answer.

A number of studies have demonstrated that future success can be predicted by how much "grit" a student has. Does this student demonstrate grit?

Should students who either are themselves or who have parents who are recent immigrants be given special consideration in admission? Why or why not?

Are there any groups of students who should be given special consideration in admission? If so, who would they be? (some examples: athletes, legacies)

Is this student smart? If yes, what makes you think so?

Is there any kind of college that you think this student might not feel comfortable attending because it is not as welcoming of low-income students?

Would you want this student as a roommate? Why or why not?