Journeys: Education and Life, Captains and Crew

What is the most famous scene in the history of film that has any connection with instilling a love of learning in students? My Pick: John Keating (Robin Williams) exhorts his students to Carpe Diem—Seize the Day. Keating advises students to take risks, to find the poem within: "the powerful plays goes on and  you may contribute a verse." His success in leading students to break out of the strict and limiting  ways of seeing the world leads to his dismissal as a teacher at  a conservative school,  but his students do not let him go without a defiant tribute. They stand on their desks and invoke Walt Whitman's  poem Captain My Captain.

Throughout  Dead Poets Society, Keating is the captain who leads his students to see new lands, and to explore the inner harbors of their minds through experience and through the words of great poets.

Susan Dabbar was influenced in her life’s journey by a captain—her father, but she has, since then, become a captain of a different sort. In her role as an educational consultant she has captained the journeys of students and families, leading them to look beyond the well traversed  paths of just a few colleges and universities. She challenges cliches and assumptions and is not afraid to step in to defend thought.

Her knowledge of herself, the world and the ways to learn to how to learn have changed lives. After you read her interview you will know why she has the skills to let all of us explore uncharted shores within our hearts and minds.

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 First of all can you give us a little bit of historical background? Where did you grow up and what was your family like?

Neither one of my parents attended a four-year college. My father came from an educated family, but like many young men of his generation received an accelerated high school graduation and went off to war in 1943. Returning, he began a career he loved as a fishing captain, which spanned the next 45 years and every day of my childhood. My mother, despite not attending college, was a gifted writer and speaker. She was the driving force in our family, a supportive advocate for her children. Although we always had what we needed, there were never new cars or fancy vacations. But what we did have was a stable home life; mom worked part time and mothered full time, and dad was around on Sundays and holidays. My brother, sister, and I were taught to make good choices with the right balance of supervision and freedom; we were all good kids. I was the middle child of three and concede that I fit most of the associated stereotypes.

Captain Bob Farmer

Can you tell us about your own experience in secondary school and take us through your college application process? Why did you end up choosing the school you did?

My large New Jersey public high school pulled from five small towns; mine was considered the poorest. Perhaps I tried to overcompensate for our lower social strata by over-achieving; I carved out my identity as a super student and associated with other kids that wanted a ticket out. For me, practicality trumped impulsiveness: most of my friends were smart boys who influenced my early exposure to STEM subjects. There was never a doubt that my siblings and I would go to college, as my mom made it clear that education correlated with a professional career and long-term success. I became a student leader and, looking back, was confident beyond where my socioeconomic background might suggest.

Practicality and finances drove my college decision: with all three siblings overlapping college at the same time, tuition cost was a constant dinner table topic. I barely worked with my high school guidance counselor, and there was no discussion about STEM education versus liberal arts, or critical thinking skills versus vocational training. I was never offered choices that were a good fit; fit was never part of the discussion. I wonder if fit was even a thing back then. Maybe for wealthier kids? I wanted an escape from what was becoming a stifling, limited, small-town environment, and I thought I could achieve this most quickly by following a linear path to a degree that would 100% guarantee a professional job. As expected, my forward-thinking mother took over the process. The service academies had just opened their doors to women two years prior. Focusing on academies associated with the sea (my father’s seagoing career was supportive of this narrative), with my mother’s guidance (read: insistence), I zeroed in on a STEM major: Naval Architecture – a rigorous yet artistic engineering pursuit. Maritime College had one of the best Naval Architecture programs amongst the service schools; importantly, Maritime had (and still has) an outstanding track record of placing graduates in high-paying jobs immediately upon graduation. Having checked the boxes of practicality and finances, my dad drove me to New York City for an interview; they accepted me on the spot.

For someone who now helps students and families with finding great fits for college, your path to this profession is anything but typical. Can you share with us some of your experiences and careers once you finished college?

While I set out looking for a linear career path, my career choices have been creative and varied, but they do follow a repetitive pattern: identify niche interests, focus and learn, develop expertise; prepare for and seek out ways to make a disruptive change in the existing business model; deliver results, pivot to a new niche. Repeat.

Straight out of college, I cut my teeth at Newport News Shipbuilding. After two years of designing aircraft carriers and submarines for major defense contractors, I realized I was more suited to entrepreneurial pursuits. With some night school courses in interior design under my belt, I started a business focused on ship accommodation design. After successfully building and selling my design business, I joined The Walt Disney Company. I was a non-traditional hire for Disney, and I was a risk for them. Coming in to manage a large creative division with an unfamiliar college degree and some remotely tangential experience contributed to upper management’s skepticism; I was told I had to prove myself in three months and pay for myself three times over. Armed with a phone directory and organizational chart, I successfully set out to design a dream and present it in a compelling and emotionally connected way. Disney taught me to listen, evaluate risk, seek and solicit advice from diverse thinkers, and above all else value creativity. It was through this observation and participation that I began to understand the value of a liberal arts education.

I had the dream job until my husband came home one day and announced we were moving to Moscow, Russia. While there, I combined my experience at Disney with my entrepreneurial spirit, starting a school uniform business – a Russian company that designed, manufactured, and distributed in Russia – one of the most difficult business challenges I ever faced. Ironically it was in Russia that I became involved in education, student advocacy, and guiding parents and students.

What made you decide to change career paths to become a college consultant?  One thing I try to get across to people going into the tunnel (as I call it) of preparing to apply for colleges and preparing for careers and life is that things are never linear no matter how well we plan or prepare. Do you agree? Do you feel your wide-ranging experiences help you to advise others about life/learning?

So many students get stuck on what they want to be. When I observe students (or their parents) falling in love with a specific school or the concept of a career, I am constantly inspired to help them understand more about themselves, rather than expecting the college experience to convert them from a lump of clay into the “blank-educated blank” they read about in career services. Students today need to know that it is okay to go into the college selection process uncertain about their future, that their initial major doesn’t have to be their forever job—the days of forever jobs are over. Unlike my generation and the generation of my parents, this generation rejects the negative stigma of changing employers and careers. In fact, in some areas like tech, having tried and failed is predictive and even necessary of future success. The traditional job titles like Doctor, Lawyer, and Teacher are now overshadowed or being replaced with more nuanced titles like Revenue Intelligence Analyst, Video Strategist Lead, Logic Designer, Talent Acquisition Specialist, Social Strategist, etc. Students of this generation will have to figure out what to do and design their own goals, much like I did. For some that may be difficult. Mary Egan, former senior vice president at Starbucks says, “excelling at any job is about doing the things you weren’t asked to do.” Today, success will come to those with a growth mindset and who are able to navigate ambiguous situations.

Because of my own personal experience, I am fascinated by the connectivity of the STEM and the liberal arts. In fact, it was during this time at Disney that I came to the crucial understanding that a STEM and Liberal Arts education play together in essential ways. The jobs of today and tomorrow will demand this interplay. Most kids are pegged as in one camp or the other. We need to restrain ourselves from pigeonholing kids too early or at all. I believe we are experiencing a renaissance of sorts. No longer are mathematicians working in silos as lone wolfs. Take Terry Tao, considered to be the greatest mathematician of our generation. When he was in high school (at the age of 10) and then college and graduate school, he admits he thought that math was solving problems in a bubble. Now at age 40, with a Field’s medal in hand, he knows that great math only happens with imagination and networking. Sure the innate talent must be there, but solving the big problems requires connection with past and future minds. While I was working at Disney, I witnessed this first hand. Disney engineers are referred to as Imagineers, who imagine the impossible. Articulate it, communicate it, create it. We need to encourage more of this approach.  

Many IEC’s parlay their degrees and experience in education, whereas I arrived through a career path of re-invention, which included engineering, marketing and branding, developmental positions, entrepreneurship, and non-profits – a synergy of left-and-right-brain thinking. I leverage this as a differentiator, especially now when ROI and understanding employment landscapes are part of every family conversation. I don’t feel guilty about this and remain an ardent advocate of the liberal arts. I don’t think the two areas are mutually exclusive. Also, I find that many IEC’s are intimated about guiding STEM kids, especially when it comes to navigating the highly specialized segmented divisions of engineering majors. Currently, I have been posting blogs and am writing several publications that can hopefully guide students, parents, and consultants in understanding the nuances of engineering and STEM-related majors and fields.      

The whole process of applying to schools, as anyone who has either recently been through this or anyone going through it now can attest, is often very stressful and filled with questions that are not always easy to get useful answers for. I hope you might talk about a few of these issues.

Boy, the entire process needs a major overhaul. Between the absurd emphases placed on rankings and the misguided hunt for prestige, colleges admissions has lost its way, along with the entire obscene machine that supports it. We need more transparency amongst all stakeholders, partners, and constituencies. We need to make sure that our high school counselors have manageable caseloads and are well trained; outsourcing may be the only option going forward. Colleges must try to be more consistent and fair in messages to students about issues like score reporting, demonstrated interest, and the emphasis they place on input like “what is your intended major.” We need to quit shifting application deadlines earlier and earlier and allow exhausted high school faculty the full vacations that they have wholeheartedly earned. We need to distill and discuss openly the overly complicated relationship between high school counselors and independent consultants while checking all of our egos at the door. Those of us that are working ethically (and that is the vast majority of us) want the same thing – to place the student at the center of the process. And while we must stop coming down so hard on rich kids (it is not their fault), we also desperately need to get better and more efficient at finding ways to reach and guide the underserved communities. We need to make sure that kids don’t undermatch or overmatch; fit needs to stay at the forefront. Colleges need to continue to improve the quality of their high school visit programs by sharing relevant and honest information on cost of attendance, selectivity, and transparency on financial aid. And please colleges: stop asking students where else they are applying.

Take the essay for example: 650 words of sheer panic and angst that has turned into a commercial monstrosity. Most of us believe that the essay, when written by the student,  is the only real place of power – the only place that the student is not reduced to a small box. Now some colleges are waiving the personal essay on the Common App, for some in favor of other media and for others it just disappears. This trend does not seem to be in the best interest of the student. Shouldn’t colleges want to learn as much as possible about what really makes a student tick? Why then delete the essay component? For those of us who have spent hours with students – poor, middle class, rich, black, white, international, transgender, genius, or average – each has a compelling story and deserves the chance to be heard. For most students, this is the first time they are asked to reflect and write these stories down, an awesome opportunity for growth.

I wish every admission rep could walk in the shoes of a rising senior and parent of a rising senior and feel their stress and anxiety. It is real, and much of it is not of their own making.

Until we press refresh on these issues, this process will remain a mess.

First of all, what do you think are the differences between what used to be called admission and what is now called enrollment management? Do you think these changes help families and students are they mostly to benefit the schools themselves?

Enrollment management categorically addresses a fundamental change in the schools’ self-image – many schools see themselves on the one hand as businesses generating revenue from selling the perception of the school, as luxury-branded as a designer watch. On the other hand, those same schools see their missions as institutions of social engineering, by creating young liberal and progressive thinkers who will both represent the ideals of the school’s administration and give back as successful alumni. These non-contradictory goals meet at the admissions office, where a school can say, “Nice that you want us, but what really matters is whether we want you.” For the schools that make the news, low acceptance rates and opaque admissions criteria are the tools used to manage enrollment, neither of which are beneficial to students and or families.

The schools absolutely benefit by generating an environment of anxious competition among students trying to get into a college. Risk and uncertainty are passed from the colleges to the students, making it a buyer’s market for the universities who created artificial scarcity and appearance of desirability.

How do you feel about rankings? Almost everyone in education says they are pernicious and not useful. Is there anything about rankings that you would defend?

Ironically, the more targeted and transparent the ranking criteria, the more useful the ranking is to the student and parent, whereas the most widely published rankings are far from transparent and provide a homogenized burnishing of school reputation (and enrollment management…see above). Ranking systems can be designed such that any school can be in the top 25; they are arbitrary and based purely on the ranking author’s views on criteria and his/her weighting.

Additionally, the widely-read rankings like US News & World Report contain an implied precision: school number 4 better than school number 5, or there is a ‘tie’ for 8^th place. Are the criteria used to make that determination applicable to one particular student? Minor changes in the weighting of the criteria would quickly reverse ranking making the current rankings system more like a football BCS than a March Madness Final Four.

Even USN&WR admit that “it's much harder to find relevant alternatives: colleges similar to your first choice, but ones that, for one reason or another, are better for your needs.” Unfortunately, one has to click five links deep into their ranking page to find this out.

The fit process, which hopefully HS counselors and most ethical IEC’s employ, engages college ranking in reverse – the student and IEC develop their wants, needs, and priorities, and generate their college list based on a calibrated set of fit criteria, which is essentially their personal ranking. An IEC’s knowledge of relevant alternatives, skill at teasing out the student’s real interests and priorities, and the personal needs of the family are what turns rankings into a personal fit.

Since I am asking about things that get mostly negative comments from educators, teachers, students and parents I will bring up testing. There are some who think standardized test should at best be optional for students to submit. There are some who think they should be eliminated all together. Where are you on the testing spectrum? Are they useful and if so why do so many think they are not?

With the latest trend in making everyone a valedictorian, and so many students attaining GPA’s of 4.0, I can’t blame colleges for want of another indicator of readiness. The whole system becomes ludicrous, however, when a student’s stock drops because they score a 780 rather than an 800. Insert the emotionally charged discussion of whether the test has become a test of knowledge or income, and listen to the debate roar onward. The College Board hasn’t helped, from absurd scoring practices to internationally organized cheating scandals. Now we wait with bated breath to see what David Coleman’s crew rolls out with the redesigned SAT in March.

I get that some kids are terrible test takers and poor kids don’t play on an equal footing, but in real life, testing matters. Educators must concede that college and life are full of standardized tests. The microbiologist’s stages of mitosis, the computer scientist calculating Laplace transforms for analog-digital conversion, and the conservatory prodigy using the Circle of Fifths in transposition all involve standardized testing in academia, and become pass-fail in the real world. And what about the LSAT, MCAT, CPA, PE exam, and even the CEP, which I just sat for earlier this year, to name a few.  However, at the same time, I am in favor of more test-optional choices. Different students have different needs. For some of my students, a test-optional school is their only option.

How do you advise student to prepare for testing?

There are two aspects to successful testing: knowledge of the subject matter and understanding the test design. I have seen huge score jumps with kids who started out as bad test takers as long as they practice over a period of months, not weeks. On the knowledge side, start early, study the subject matter and if financially possible get a good tutor. There is now also a ton of free test prep available online. Understanding the test design helps the student deliver results, separate from the knowledge that the test purports to verify. The best preparation is to take as many practice tests as possible, to hone in on the mechanics and strategies of actually taking the test, and not just focus on the content. Sit and take many practice tests in a simulated environment as close as possible to the actual test center. Commit to this regimen for months. Students with ADHD and anxiety and LD and anxiety go hand in hand.

Look, junior year is rough for every student. Students need to realize they will not have a life on weekends; however, the comfort should come from knowing that every college-bound junior is in the same boat. Students with test anxiety, in particular, should absolutely practice as much as possible to reduce stress. For logic and reasoning tests, as well as reading for comprehension, practice exercises help a student parse the significant information quickly. 

Do you think most families are aware of the ways schools approach financial aid and tuition discounts? It used to be that families that tried to ask questions of aid offices about changing awards almost always met with little success. Have you seen this changing the last several years? Should families have a mind set to negotiate for the best deal?

While everyone should try to negotiate the best deal, it is important to know which levers the aid officers can or cannot pull. Maybe they can’t give you more of a tuition discount, but does the school offer work-study, special fellowships or part time T.A. work? Because the aid officers are part of the enrollment management process, they have aid as a tool to help entice students, but particularly for highly selective schools, it is a buyer’s market. The schools decide how much aid they are going to give a student, thereby buying that student’s enrollment; but the aid offices don’t want to over-pay, so the more desirable the student makes themselves, the more likelihood the aid office will be able to go deeper into the school’s pockets.

Judging from what I hear many families do not think colleges are nearly as open and transparent about aid, what kind of aid, and how heavy the loan debt as they should be.  What information should schools provide that would help in this process?

I don’t think it is the college’s obligation to publish information about how heavy one individual family’s debt load should be. That is so wrapped up in individual circumstances that it is outside of one school’s ability to manage. Being fully open and transparent about aid is always good but unlikely to come about, because as I’ve noted above the actual aid available is wrapped up in enrollment management. The best we can realistically hope for is transparency about the types of aid available.

Do you think there is more blurring between schools that say they are need blind from schools that say they are need aware ?(In journalism or in the law this is called a leading question, since I clearly have a point of view about this).

Need-blind developed a cachet of being politically correct – the veneer of objective criteria and the egalitarian aspiration that “if you are qualified to be admitted, we will find a way to make it affordable.” But this becomes expensive as schools grapple with their conflicting enrollment management goals: generating revenue and social engineering, the latter necessitating admission on criteria other than ability to pay. Need-aware is a clever way to achieve the positive image of being need-blind, while simultaneously reserving full-payment spots for wealthy legacies and international students. Schools would call this blurring of the definition a win-win.

How about your views on the Common Ap. There has been a lot of controversy the past several years. The essay questions have come under scrutiny, the expansion of schools who can use the Common Ap who do not even use any essays or other non-numeric rubrics are now allowed in even though Common Ap said they stand for holistic admission,

One unintended consequence of the Common App is the ease by which students can apply to too many schools: click and pay, click and pay. Schools are incentivized to opt into the common app process. Without it, enrollment management would have been much harder to achieve; the transaction costs in time and intellectual energy to complete an individual school’s bespoke application would discourage if not eliminate students from applying to many schools. Adding school applications via common app increases the number of applicants seemingly without limit. Mathematically, this improved the schools’ highly-selective standing by decreasing their calculated acceptance rate. As I’ve had to tell many parents, applying to more schools that the student is not qualified to attend does not increase her chances of getting in. But it does make the school look more selective. Cui bono?

Speaking of applications, there are many who think students are applying to too many schools. Others think the landscape is so uncertain in terms of selective admission and aid packages that students should apply to far more schools than those students applying a generation ago. How many schools do most of your students apply to?

I put the effort up front into designing a school list based on fit and relevance, looking for the nexus between the individual’s aspiration and likelihood of admission. The list must be balanced. Some of my students only apply to three schools, especially in the case of ED or rolling admissions. If I have a student apply in September to Texas A&M, and she learns that she has been accepted by the end of September, then that student is likely only going to apply to three to four additional schools, if that. My high flyers tend to have more expansive lists. For these students, I advise them to limit applications to the nine to ten schools that fit and don’t apply to any more. One of them is the tenth best fit.

 Since we are on the topic of applications I want to focus on something we have exchanged a number of messages about—essays. In recent weeks there have been a few essays posted on various forums from blogs to counselor Facebook pages to the NY Times. The reaction to these essays, in some cases, has shocked you and me too. For example, the NY Times piece on essays from students who have overcome economic hardship was roundly applauded by most counselors and educators but almost all the comments from readers were negative. The readers felt that only those with sad tales of woe were valued. On the other hand, a few essays that were risky in terms of style and life were given very low marks by most admission readers and secondary school counselors but were given off the charts marks by professors and others who have advanced degrees and teaching experience at the university level. How has all this affected you and how might this change how you would now advise students to approach essays?

We must not allow anything to get in the way of the measurable growth that many students experience during the essay process. Much of that self-actualization comes by finally receiving a sliver of freedom to present themselves their way. We should never dictate absolutes on essay themes. Yes, we should guide, provide caution, and weigh risk, but it saddens me that students must pander to admissions readers and specific college cultures. We repeatedly tell students: this is your place of power, take risks, and show your personality, share your story – any story as long as it is about you – in a compelling and reflective way. The vehicle (the trip, mentor, moment, etc.) that they use to deliver the story only sets the stage. Who are we to strip this small but mighty power from these kids? Their entire 18-year being is already crammed into a soulless electronic platform. The essay allots them a minuscule amount of freedom to paint a living color portrait of who they are and what makes them tick. A few years ago it was no more sports essays, then no camp, travel abroad, or mission trips as topics. Certainly no polarizing issues like politics or religion. Now service trips. Next it will be kids who start their own charities, legitimate or attempting-to-be. And not only do we have our full-pay kids check their privilege but now they must also mask or hide it. Why? Because students have to worry about offending, boring, or intellectually challenging a reader?

Sure readers see the same themes over and over, but that is because most students go through a similar arc, interacting or experiencing people, places, or moments, and coming up with meaningful reflections at their young age. Let’s not be dismissive of these topics, or dismissive of students who have some apparent privilege that allows them the resources to travel – do we criticize Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Gertrude Stein for living in Paris? I see families that sacrificed and scraped together the money to send their kids abroad thinking this was an impactful way for their child to mature and learn about a community other than their own. And most often they do.

I understand that admissions officers need to protect their schools, and in this day and age, that means kids that write about certain risky subjects raise red flags. But those types of risks aside, we should be celebrating kids who are tying to take creative risks. As far as risky topics, the question to be answered is: Does the student need a risky essay, to stand up, to be pointy, to be an individual? Or, as is often my experience, does the student have such a unique, edgy point of view and talent they can’t help themselves but write a risky essay. But, the student has to have the ability to deliver a good risky essay: a compelling story and exceptional writing ability. This is a highly personal issue because it depends on the truth: the way it has affected the student, how much he frames his identity through the lens of that life experience, and whether it enables future growth.

If these are answered positively, then the student’s chances are improved when there is an understanding of the reader and college culture and how that culture may react to a risky essay. What may appear risky at Texas A&M or Baylor might be uninspiring at St. John’s or Oberlin. I tell my students to be honest, reflective, and soulful. Finally, before encouraging or even allowing a student to work on a risky essay, we have to have a serious conversation about the potential outcome: If it gets to the wrong reader, it may kill her chances. 

We must make sure that we do not inadvertently put ourselves at the center of the process. A reader’s job is to read every essay with fresh perspective, as difficult as that may be. A reader’s job is to delve into the essay and come away with whatever heart-felt slivers are revealed: imperfections, sorrows, triumphs, revelations, etc. For most kids, this is a daunting assignment and most have no clue how to do it effectively. With the hundreds of thousands of essays reviewed every year, there are going to be more horrible than good ones, with plenty of repetition. Families are desperate to keep up, desperate to provide their child an ill-perceived edge to this convoluted, overly stressful, and

less-than-transparent process. Most don’t have guidance. Many parents send their kids on trips or travel precisely so their child WILL have something to write about. We must remain vigilant as student advocates. We must check ourselves as we continue to agree on ways to improve the process.

Another issue that has some thorns to it concerns the role of educational consultants/counselors. I have written before about how I think that most in the profession provide a great service (of course I am not objective) based on their knowledge and experience. Many have visited far more campuses and talked with far more educators from a variety of schools than most secondary school guidance counselors. Most are not getting rich but are making a living helping people through an increasingly complicated process. Do you feel those in colleges and universities are becoming more receptive to the profession?

Yes, colleges and universities are absolutely more receptive. With every college visit and conference, I see a measurable difference in colleges’ willingness to value our work in serving students and families. The vast majority of IECs practice ethically. Most of us are members of professional associations like the IECA, HECA, and NACAC and adhere to a strict code of ethical standards. What a shame that only the rogue “consultant” that charges absurd fees while making false guarantees gets the headlines. IEC’s don’t just serve wealthy families, although that may have been the case years ago. Today IEC’s are working for non-profits, corporations, private schools and public school districts. Colleges are seeing our dedication and commitment and are experiencing that our services deliver tangible value, especially as they try to manage yield. Look, IEC’s invest in knowing schools and matching that knowledge to their students’ goals. We invest our own time and resources visiting scores of campuses and meeting with admissions folks. We study all colleges: big, small, rural, urban, CTCL, and ivy-walled and get to know them expertly. We spend a tremendous amount of time focusing on fit. We calm families and bring order and relevant knowledge to the table. Where some public high school counselors have caseloads in excess of 1000:1 and spend on average of 33 minutes total with each senior, I spend on average of 30 hours with each of my 25 seniors. Every college that lands on one of my students’ list is a good match; colleges are beginning to understand that value. Most of us running private practices like mine are committed to pro bono work and are contributing positively to the overall higher ed landscape. IEC’s are immensely talented and generous, and the work that Mark Sklarow, Executive Director of the IECA, has done has been immeasurable in advancing our relationship with all stakeholders. We are caring thought-leaders, writers, teachers, and mentors. Thanks to our relentless persistence and professionalism we are not only improving our relationship with colleges and high schools but also with organizations like NACAC and the College Board. This trend will continue.

At the same time there are stories and discussions every day that fall under what I call class warfare in admission. Many educators see that those at the low end of the economic spectrum cannot compete with those who have resources for sending student to strong secondary school—public or private, supporting activism and exposure to cultures, test prep etc. Should students fro the middle class or above be held to higher standard because of these advantages?

I wish it were the case that there were no differentiation in the resources provided across the socioeconomic spectrum. But that leveling has to start somewhere, and freshman year of college appears to be the place our society has agreed upon. We haven’t achieved equal opportunity at the elementary or high school level, and if colleges and universities have the resources to provide additional educational support to students who received below-average high schooling but have potential, that provides a good outcome for society. This discussion circles back on a concept I have written about: the benefit of grit and that grit is a good predictor of success.

Given all the issues I have raised, I have probably driven the anxiety level up among some readers. At the same time as what I have said about things is, I hope accurate, it is also true there are hundreds and hundreds of great schools for student to attend. There is a school pretty much for everyone (for those who can pay the fees). Given that there are so many great choices out there why does this message not get through to people? Are people like me that raise these questions contributing to the problem?

Almost all students go through this process once in their lives, and most parents see the college admission process through a lens of their own experience and social milieu. Combined, this gives a myopic view of what is possible and how to achieve it. Raising the issues, and more importantly generating awareness among the parent-student community, actually drives the right kind of behavior: rather than accepting what is being marketed to them, parents and students can work (with or without an IEC) towards the right outcome for themselves.  

How do you help families and student focus on the good news about admission?

The good news really is that there is a school for everyone. Managing expectations becomes the way to increase the likelihood of good news: your son or daughter will go to college, become a better person, and not bankrupt you in the process. It is all a matter of finding the right school.

Do you want to share any of the approaches you use with families and students when you work with them?

During the original intake process, I meet jointly with parents and students, mostly to set expectations but also to observe the family dynamics, body language, and other areas for misalignment. I break the process into pieces, which immediately reduces the stress. I try to empower students; this process is theirs to own. I limit interaction with parents once the initial intake is over. I do try to assign parents small tasks like tracking down activities, awards, etc. This helps parents feel like they are contributing. My relationship with my families and students is built over time, and gaining a student’s trust is key. I do this several ways: being relevant, speaking their language, and knowing a lot about a lot of random subjects from Dr. Who to Kierkegaard. While I focus on fit, I also focus on relevance – what really matters to them. I zero in on their growth mindsets, optimism, grit, and mindfulness as it relates to their outer world. Most importantly, I listen. 

Is there anything else you want to add?

I think over 6000 words is quite enough.

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Susan has just given us the equivalent of an exclusive seminar on the state of education and admission in the US today. Her insights into finding a fit,  testing, essays, the Common Ap, financial aid and much more  have helped me expand my understanding of trends and helpful approaches to navigate  successfully the rough trade winds and the hidden shoals. In more pragmatic terms, Susan has given us, for free, information that some would charge huge sums for.

Susan’s efforts to help others come in part from her background. She grew up in a family that instilled ethics, values and hard work. She has, since then, become a captain of the mind. By this I mean I have read her words on a number of forums and they are not simply well-stated--they always put the interests of families and students first. She cares about the meaning of words and the importance of writing but she cares more about finding places for students to go that will match their interests and needs. She cares about transporting people to new lands—undiscovered vistas.

For those who do wish to find out more about her services, I encourage you to contact her: Susan Dabbar: www.admissionsmarts.com

I would like to thank Susan for putting such effort into informing us about issues that are at the forefront of education today.  She is an inspiration to me and I am sure to others too. Walt Whitman writing an open letter to Ralph Waldo Emerson, highlights Emerson’s leadership. It seems to me he captures Susan’s leadership too:  

I say you have led The States there—have led Me there. I say that none has ever done, or ever can do, a greater deed for The States, than your deed. Others may line out the lines, build cities, work mines, break up farms; it is yours to have been the original true Captain who put to sea, intuitive, positive, rendering the first report, to be told less by any report, and more by the mariners of a thousand bays, in each tack of their arriving and departing, many years after you.