I say this a lot because
it is true—I am lucky. One of my greatest joys in life is being able to talk to
some of the brightest, thoughtful and kindest people in the world. These people have given me insights about life
and the world I never would have had without their generosity of spirit and
their willingness to answer a lot of questions. What follows is the first part
of an interview with Jenni.
If you want to find out
what it is like to attend the school The New York Times highlighted
as one of the best in the
world, then read on. If you want to find out why some of the stereotypes about
schools like this and the students who attend them are often wrong, then read
on. If you want to see why international students bring with them far more than
high scores and grades to their universities and colleges in the US, then read
on. You won’t be disappointed.
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Questions
Can you tell us a little about you and your
family? Where did you grow up in Korea? Can you talk about the changes you saw
growing up just in terms of the tremendous growth that’s taken place in your
lifetime there?
We’ve been doing long
distance for some time now, but my family is close to my heart – we are a
formidable team who believe in each other. I feel it is only in the past few
years that I learned to love my parents for who they are and genuinely wished
them well in their growth as fellow human beings. These are the internal changes
I suspect most slightly disgruntled children go through with their less-than
perfect, but still wonderful and loving, parents. I also know that my parents
changed a lot while raising my sister and me – they’ve become more patient,
more understanding, and more trusting.
My parents persevered
through turbulent times – the Asian Financial Crisis of ’97, near-fatal health
crises for both my mother and father, challenges of parenthood and marriage. The
ride wasn’t always smooth, but I’m really proud of what they’ve achieved
together. By turbulent times, I mean
hard times that must have made my parents think they were not good enough for
my sister and me, that they were not doing things right. The very fact that they each overcame such crushing
moments of self-doubt makes me believe I can persevere too.
My father showed me
fortitude and responsibility. For better
or worse, I have never seen my father shed a tear. He endured so much growing up – namely
poverty and the loss of his parents. Yet
he accomplished much through perseverance and sheer intelligence. I know it has to be that, because my father
has never been much of a networker and he did not come from wealth. My mother kindled and nurtured my curiosity
and love of learning. I learned to read
and write and do multiplication tables all at a young age (around when I was 5
years old) because she chose to teach and expose me to education and knowledge
simply to impart her love of learning.
Due to my father’s job,
we moved around a dozen times or so, living in one place for no more than 1-2
years: various satellite cities in Korea (5-6 cities), the U.S. (Wisconsin),
back to Korea (3-4 cities), the U.S. (New Jersey), and then a more permanent
residence in Seoul. This was awesome in that I got to live in a lot of
different places. My parents valued cultural exposure and as a result, my
sister and I got to do a lot of cool things – see ballet and theatre in New
York, visit famous Buddhist temples in the southern provinces of Korea, take
figure skating lessons in the ice rink Sarah Hughes trained in at New Jersey
(although I will always be a Michelle Kwan fan). In school though, I was
sometimes popular, sometimes bullied, but rarely happy and content to just be
myself. Too much seemed to depend on a myriad of factors outside of my control.
I remember how I hated K-drama and but all my friends would talk about episodes
incessantly, so I felt pressure to watch it. I also didn’t know any popular
music because my mom would put on classical music at home.
Additionally, the
constant moving around deeply influenced how I form and perceive relationships
with others – I somehow always expect to not fit in and be misunderstood. One
of the things that never changed was the importance of school. This unfortunately led to the misguided
belief that with academic success, I would be safe from teenage scorn and
loneliness – I would always have admirers, be they doting teachers or approving
classmates. I was always very good at school, and thrived in New Jersey where I
was tracked into an accelerated/smart kids program – trivia, mock trial, math
team, spelling bee, you name it. I did it all. I was also the first Asian to be
elected to student council at my school – this was 8th grade and I
thought life was pretty good. And then I was moved to Seoul very suddenly.
When we came back to
Seoul in 2004, I felt miserable because I was uprooted and airdropped into a
public middle school system where I did not belong. I hid my color – in fact, I
literally had to change my hair color to jet black (I had highlights before)
and don uniforms three sizes too big for me (my sizes were sold out by the time
I transferred). I miraculously made
friends. In the meantime though, my sister was my closest ally and best friend.
My younger sister taught me what it means to be a good friend and a kind
person, and we fought a lot growing up.
I learned to share for the first time in my life thanks to her, and she
has become much more outspoken when challenging my assumptions – although I am
older, and that is supposed to mean a lot in Korean society, I know she is my
peer in terms of character development.
Considered somewhat of a
late bloomer, my sister began thriving during her high school years. Unlike me,
my resolute sister quashed all of my mother’s attempts to assign her a tutor or
enroll her in a hagwon. In light of
the education hysteria that eats students alive in Korea, I think this is a
tremendous achievement and this is one of the many reasons why I admire my
sister. Now I see her making big strides in her first year of college (which is
one of the best in Korea), including making a major transition from the
humanities to the sciences; although she loves literature and is an excellent
writer, she made the choice to follow her true passion, biology, and study
medicine. She recently won a full-ride
scholarship to any pharmacy school she chooses to go to. Seeing all these new developments, I almost
wish I could be back home permanently. Almost. I have to admit that I made a
conscious choice to be away from my family when I went to KMLA for high school.
I was separated by a 3- hour mountainous drive from our small and expensive
apartment in downtown Seoul. My family and I began our long distance
relationship then.
You applied to and were accepted to KMLA. Can you
describe what KMLA is? A number of years ago the NY Times highlighted KMLA as
one of the top secondary schools in the world. They also indicated that it was
a high stress place.
My answer has a huge
caveat – times have changed. I am the 12th wave (Class of 2010), but
Korean Minjok Leadership Academy (KMLA) is now accepting the 20th
wave students. In 2000, I first heard of this exclusive, one-of-a-kind boarding
school that accepted only geniuses or future leaders of Korea and was intrigued.
The KMLA that became famous then was not the same KMLA I entered in 2007. The
budget, the curriculum, the ridiculous regulations, and the teachers are all
different and evolving, as are the type of students who apply and get in. For
instance, everyone in the 1st wave had tuition paid for in full by
the then-successful Pasteur Milk Company (the president of this company founded
our school), but the generous scholarships came to an end after the Asian
Financial Crisis of 1997-99. Also, the student population ballooned to 100 per
grade from ~10 students. KMLA is still growing and refining itself. It is also
facing a lot more competition from other new independent, selective boarding
schools in Korea.
But organizational
culture preserves certain a character trait that I feel is essential to KMLA:
the emphasis on tradition combined with new knowledge. I was fascinated by the
effort KMLA took to brand itself – the uniforms are modified Korean traditional
costumes called hanbok, teachers
forbid and/or strongly discourage romantic relationships, the daily morning
kendo/qigong/taekwondo exercises before breakfast, and the gorgeous, rustic
campus is styled after traditional Korean architecture. There was an English
Only Policy (EOP) that many students did not abide by, and there was a teacher
who stood in line in the cafeteria to monitor that we had eaten all our food.
We had antiquated things like study hours: 7-9pm was mandatory and if I recall
correctly, 10pm-12am was optional but encouraged. Our dorm mother (a former
military cadet) and dorm father checked our rooms every week to see that we had
cleaned our rooms and showers dutifully. I still remember hosing down the
bathroom frantically and sweeping the dust into the hallway instead of the
dustbin. All these rules! It was annoying and sometimes downright depressing,
but helped students bond and form a collective experience of KMLA.
We also added hugely to
our experience through student activities. One thing I can say for sure about
KMLA is that there is a really vibrant student culture that we actively produce
and consume. There are all these really cool student performance groups ranging
from a traditional percussion troupe (the rhythmic thunder stopped and started
my heartbeat) to rock bands to a theatre circle. (I am a little sad that my
university in the US doesn’t have many rock bands when it has all these
talented musicians to spare – they all end up going into acapella groups, which
is great, but a saturated pool.) I did some hip-hop dancing and absolutely loved
the stage and performing and practicing, but generally was really nerdy (well,
everyone there was a huge nerd to begin with) and really got into the debate
scene. It was wonderful being part of my school’s English Debate Society (EDS). It was tidy little gift pack with so many
goodies: teamwork, pressure (just enough to be exciting, not too much to be
overwhelming), public speaking, awards, and recognition. I even got to run EDS
for a semester as club president. Okay, well actually, sometimes it was really
stressful – selecting new members, having to deal with school politics and
everyone’s huge ego (including mine), getting adequate prep for all the
competitions, conducing training and having to give negative constructive
feedback to younger folks (I got quite pushy in the process and I regret my
harshness). I did so many activities – newspaper, dance, orchestra, debate, and
other things I don’t even remember very well. I think this is why I entirely
stopped over committing to extracurricular activities once I got to college.
KMLA was a high-stress
place because the vast majority of the students were overachieving and
ambitious students who were probably “famous” at their respective middle
schools – many of us felt we had to excel and get into good colleges and make something
of ourselves once we got to KMLA. This was both very good and very bad: we were
so motivated, but did not know the first thing about self-care. Uncertain and
feeling lost and alienated (we were teenagers), we huddled close to one another
and became a community. Those who did not find inspiring, challenging classes
or good mentors were left to their own devices and I feel this is really where
some students bloomed (winning International Olympiads and starting their own
businesses) and others faltered in confusion as they saw themselves falling
behind, even though they really weren’t… This was sad. The fact is, KMLA back
then did a great job of choosing brilliant students with so much potential, but
did not do as a stellar job in cultivating these students and providing them
with the right training and resources. I believe we all did the best we could,
both students and faculty (there was virtually almost no staff). Obviously, I
don’t think “doing your best” is enough, and I do expect any educational
institutions I attend to systematically collect, analyze, and incorporate
student/faculty feedback. Doesn’t KMLA sound a lot like my university in the
US, with regard to it being a high-stress place? I think the journalistic
attacks against KMLA are quite exaggerated and worth taking with a grain of salt.
How did you balance the stress with education?
I balanced the stress by
writing in my journal (I used to journal actively for 8 years, from 2005-2012)
and by relating to a few close friends whom I felt were kindred spirits (great
gossips and foodies). I took up hip hop dancing during middle school with my
friends, continued in high school, because I discovered non-random movement
could be creative, entertaining, and wonderful. I read a lot of good books, danced
whenever I felt like it (especially while pulling an all-nighter for an exam),
and vented by gadding non-stop with my roommates over late night snacks. Our
school had a talented baker who distributed pastries at 9:30pm (yes, I had an
official “snack time” in high school), but my friend would entice me to go and
sneak away warm, freshly baked bread at 4:30pm while our doughy victims were
resting on the cooling rack. If we were caught, I don’t remember the scolding.
I only remember the delicious sneaky taste of pilfered bread. I also loved
taking long walks with my roommates after dinner in the woodsy paths next to
the dilapidated, unfinished girl’s dorms (the school ran out of money before
they finished construction).
Is it really true the unofficial motto of the
school is ‘four hours fail’?
I think you mean ‘five
hours fail’, not ‘four hours fail’. Also, this phrase ‘five hours fail’ refers
to a Korean 4-character phrase Sa Dang Oh
Rak that entered our language in the early 1980s. Literally, the
translation of Sa Dang Oh Rak is
‘four get, five fall’ and spelled out in English, it means one will get into
the schools of their dreams if they sleep four hours (and spend the rest of the
night studying) and if they sleep an hour more, they will not get in. ‘Five
hour fail’ (or conversely, ‘four hour succeed’) merely means that one has to
work very hard to achieve their dreams and that each marginal unit of effort
(it could be number of hours, could be number books you’ve read, etc) actually
adds up in the long run. Why did this phrase enter our language in the 1980s?
Well this is the era when government and education systems became advanced and
stable enough in post-war Korea that test-taking into good schools became a
valid and acceptable way of achieving your dreams – it was an era signaling
meritocracy and the rise of Korea as a Asian tiger and we began our rise in the
ranks of other OECD countries. It’s a national mentality, not an
institution-specific mentality.
Most of all, it is really
not meant to be taken literally at all. Would you take “an apple a day keeps
the doctor away” literally? I’d say no. But I guess you could, by eating an
apple every day. Can’t hurt, right? So this is where we get to the juicier part
of the apple – some morons took this phrase literally! Old school educators
rather perversely used this phrase as motivational fodder for students
preparing for the Soo-Neng exam
(think the gaokao of Korea), and thus
perpetuated this saying and also put additional pressure on students to study
harder and actually sleep less (which is less self-care, which is very sad and
very counterproductive).
However, to use another
Korean saying, does smoke rise from an unlit furnace? (It means every rumor has
some basis.) Why do education experts like you come to think ‘five hour fail’
is the unofficial motto of KMLA? This is because KMLA students do indeed collectively sleep little at night and study
hard before exams – sometimes out in the hallways with a battery-powered
lamp (it was lights out at 2am), all night long, as I often did during exam
weeks. I attribute this to two factors: 1) terrible time management and 2)
strong desire to get good grades. I had terrible time management, as did many
other students, and we would talk all night and end up sleeping during class. We
had so many extracurricular activities and so much reading to do and excellent
Wi-Fi service. Most of us still did really well in our studies because despite
managing time in a terrible way, because we would sacrifice sleep so we could
do what we were supposed to do best: study and get good grades. Some kids
dropped out of school, for a multitude of reasons, but I suspect not being able
to handle their newfound freedom led to devastating grades. On the other hand,
I also had a roommate who got 8 hours of sleep a night and also did really well
academically. She’s a bona fide life hack.
In an earlier post about KMLA you helped me to
gather quotes from other KMLA students who are doing exceptional things in and
out of class. What sort of things were you involved with at KMLA and how did
they help shape the person you are today?
I was involved with the
debate team, Model UN, two orchestras, a student hip hop group, the English
newspaper, and various student community service groups. All had varying time
commitments, and I spent the most time on debate and it really shaped the way I
viewed myself in high school. I had really good coaches and enjoyed the company
of my teammates. At two tournaments, I won the Best Speaker award (one in the
Czech Republic, one in Korea). I was always sad though that I had never won a
tournament with my team – we once made it to the final round, I think. Debate
helped boost my ego and confidence, but also brought me down when I got low
speaker points or when I felt a coach/a teammate did not like me. I also had
the honor of being part of the national team twice to compete in the World
Schools Debating Championship (2009 Greece, 2010 Doha). There were a lot of
trophies, banquets, new friends, and international traveling, but also a lot of
drama, rivalry, and bruised egos. By the end of high school, I felt that it was
time to move on – I wanted to learn and discuss rather than pretend I was an
expert and argue a point for the sake of arguing. In retrospect, I wish I had
tried theatre – I love the stage and also love the arts.
A lot of people around the world have pretty bad
stereotypes about Asians students, especially international students. . The
issues go far deeper than the simplistic ‘they are good at math ‘Meme’. I see
that many educators and people who should know better talk in grand statements
about how the education system in paces like Korea promotes rote learning
without any critical thinking or without any larger philosophical frame. First
of all do you think educators are in part correct about some of the emphasis on
exam and test prep abut that they are also wrong about how some schools
transcend this and that perhaps the paradigm is shifting a bit at the top
schools in Korea?
I think KMLA tried hard
to shift the paradigm by defining what the ideal education system looked like,
and then trying to enforce rules to implement this ideal. Our motto (official
one) loosely translates as follows: “A minjok-centric
education for the bright future of our nation is to learn for the sake of
learning, not for promises of wealth or power; to choose careers on the basis
of our true talents and desires, not on the basis of wealth or power. This is
my true happiness and the bright future of our nation.” Believe me, a lot of us
rolled our eyes dramatically as we recited it every Monday morning in our large
gymnasium for our weekly morning ceremonies. But I would say this motto alone
reflects a lot of critical thinking and a deep and large philosophical frame.
Whether this ideal is being realized is another question – one of my favorite
teachers at KMLA once sat down with me in the cafeteria and asked me why I felt
so much pressure to go to a great university. The fact that he had to talk to
me shows how difficult it was for me to study for the sake of learning.
However, I always thought
that once I got to college, I would choose my career on the basis of my true
talents and desires. I am still confident that I can do this, that I am doing
this. I believe that KMLA helped nurture idealists and dreamers and softened a
little the blow of reality – the possibility of failure, the derision of
colleagues, the inevitable times of extreme self-doubt.
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| Jenni at KMLA graduation ceremony |
Why did you decide to apply to schools in the US
and ultimately to pursue your education there?
I applied to schools in
the U.S. because I thought it would be the best way for me to enter a bigger
playing field. I wanted more exposure and a chance to do something on a large
scale that would impact the world, not just Korea. I wanted to learn from the
best professors and study academics concepts in its original language. I also
felt staying in Korea would be far too challenging for me – preparing for the Soo-Neng university entrance exam,
having to choose a major before I even arrived on campus, working so hard only
to realize that I would just be living in Korea with my parents (no offense to
my parents, it’s just what most people on the cusp of adulthood want --
independence).
How many schools did you apply to and how much
time did all your efforts take (test prep, essays, etc.).
I applied to 10 or 11
schools. My efforts took a long time. Taking the TOEFL was no big deal – I
could speak English and that meant grammar came naturally to me. The others
tests (AP, SAT, SAT subject tests) also did not take a long time. I thought the
coursework at KMLA prepared me adequate (some exceptionally well, like AP U.S.
History and AP Biology) for my AP exams and I only had to do a two-week or
week-long actual test prep using Kaplan, Barron’s etc. For SAT, I took practice
tests often, but nothing very focused and serious. I got very focused and
serious a month before I took the exam – I lived and breathed SAT vocabulary
and honed my critical reading test-taking skills and learned to think like the
test-makers to spot the “right” answer. Writing the Common App essay took the
longest (months) and it definitely took a lot of soul-searching and several
revisions. I was afraid I would lose my voice with too many revisions, so it
was safest to have my mother comment on my essay – she would read more for the
broader story and not try to fix sentence structures or diction. I ended up
sticking with an essay that I scribbled out one summer shortly after my
grandfather passed away, which was about my grandmother. I spent long nights
talking with my friends, getting peer feedback, and reading lots of good books
to inspire me. I remember hashing out an essay on being quarantined for swine
flu for a Georgetown SFS application after reading Saramago’s Blindness. The essay-writing part was
draining since I put so much of myself into the process.
You were selected to compete for one of the most
selective merit scholarship programs in the US (and the world for that matter).
It is based on 3 things: scholarship, leadership, and service. Can you outline
or show how you demonstrated these qualities?
I am not a big fan of
tooting my horn, so this is hard to answer. I think it could have to do with my
doing well academically, being the president of student activities such as
debate, and desire to do something that would benefit my community – I
genuinely did enjoy meaningful volunteer activities, such as tutoring children
in low-income areas or hosting a Christmas party at my school for senior
citizens who lived alone. I also was really, really, really lucky – the right
person saw my application at the right time, and referred my application to the
merit scholarship program. Maybe you can answer better, since you were the one
to refer my application to the scholarship program. What was the biggest factor
that made you do this?
You were named as a finalist for the scholarship,
which meant you had to fly to the US and compete over several days. You
participated in classes, writing and thinking exams, and interviews. Can
you describe what it was like to go through this? Were you confident that you
indeed get the scholarship?
Not to sound insane, but
this was a lot of fun. My favorite part was sitting in on interesting classes
(I still remember the lecture by a religious studies professor about the
formation of extremist communities in cultural enclaves as a process of
otherization), eating delicious food, and exploring the quaint Downtown Mall
and shopping. I also met really interesting and intelligent people, but also
found myself being very awkward and shy. I hadn’t mastered cocktail hour talk
yet – it nearly killed me, because there’s major cognitive dissonance that
happens when I am trying to impress yet realizing that I should be more genuine
and authentic.
The writing exam and the
monitored class discussion were not that stressful. They were about interesting
topics and I loved discussing the material with other motivated students. But
the interview at the end was challenging and I was not very confident that I
would get the scholarship (I’m never confident about results – even when I ace
something, I always expect the worst before I see results). A panel of serious
looking adults in suits stared at me and asked aggressive questions. The
results came out while I was on my flight back to Korea – so I got to find out
the good news as soon as I landed.
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Time and wisdom are linked. The blur of events come at us unceasingly;it takes effort to pull away and think, learn, and change. For some of us, it takes decades to discover some things about ourselves that have been submerged in dark corners of of neural network. For others, it never comes. And then there are the blessed few who can reflect about life if not in real time, then very soon after. Jenni is one of these.
I do not know that I have read any words for a current student that contains such wisdom about how she has grown and learned not just how to love to learn but how to take this and turn it ito widom for how to live an examined life. Socrates would approve. If this all sounds too abstract let me try to be a little more specific. Jenni's words on the way she moved through her education and her relationship with family, friends and teachers contains insights that anyone, no matter what age, should study. She has the ability to step back from the blur of the world and see how she has acted and for what reasons. In doing so she has developed the hard won skill of questioning not just others, but herself. Knowing the why behind our actions is the stuff of philosophy and Jenni has earned at least an honorary degree in this field.
Her experience in one of the best and most competitive (these two often go hand in hand) schools demonstrates what it takes not just to succeed but to thrive. Clearly, this isn't easy. There are many in the world who think that students like Jenni have had it easy. She has supportive parents, the advantage of a global upbringing, and the chance to compete with some of the top students, not just in Korea, but in the world. Yet her words underscore the difficulty of keeping up with the rest of these exceptional students that surround her. In doing so, she occasionally made choices she would no longer make. This is a part of her wisdom. There are many more ways she is wise and in Part 2 of her interview she will share them. She will refute many of the current stereotypes about gifted students who have a well paved path to success. As I said at the beginning, I am lucky. Jenni has given me a chance to ask questions of myself and my motives for doing things that I do not think I would have asked otherwise. I hope some readers here will have a similar experience
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| Jenni and other first year university merit scholars |
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