Essay Test: Should you reveal your true self (selves)?

The following essay was submitted to selective colleges and universities.

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"There are two of me, you see.”  Some people might respond with, “Only two? There are thousands of you!” That may be true, but for me, they add up to two. Multifaceted, but not quite a diamond. I’m not a Jekyll and Hyde character either.

Unbound or chaotic, my inner child sometimes steals the spotlight. This is the me from early childhood. He sometimes “acts up” and takes things less seriously.  However, I don’t act up much anymore; instead, I channel my energy into acting. I’ve taken Drama throughout high school, I’m in an improvisation and comedy class, and recently I’ve joined the Student Run Shakespeare Group. In October I went with my drama class to the VTA (Virginia Theater Association) Convention, where I performed a monologue. Successfully completing that monologue in front of eighteen judges was a huge confidence booster for me.

While my inner child is more fun and casual, he occasionally has a concentration problem. He might ask, “Is that really so bad?” and my other side would reply, “Yes. Yes it is.” The other me is rational, ordered, and a bit passive. Although he thinks things through, he’s not a risk taker. He likes to do things with his fingers, like origami, sculpting, and playing guitar. When he plays guitar, he enjoys fingerpicking more than chords. Fingerpicking tests dexterity. One needs the strength to pluck the strings in a continuous, rapid sequence; while I have the strength, I’m still improving my control so that my technique won’t falter.

If one side of me is the fingerpicker, the other side of me is the actor. The actor in me could also be called the “ADHD me,” while the fingerpicker could be called the “Asperger’s me.”  As a child, I was +diagnosed with Asperger’s and ADHD. Both of them manifest, in some way, in each of the two me’s. The first me has more traits of ADHD, because he’s more passionate, energetic, and outgoing. He’s also willing to try new things, such as scuba diving, monologues, and escargot. The second me exhibits more traits of Asperger’s. He’s more empathetic and more focused on his hobbies and interests.

Dichotomy aside, there is one thing that both sides can agree on: my love for fencing. While it doesn’t require as much physical strength or bulk as football, fencing does require balance and dexterity, much like dancing. It also lets me set concrete goals.The point of the match is to score the most touches. While the ends are points (pun intended), the means are people; whether I defeat a rival or score a single touch against a veteran fencer, I’ll know that I’ve improved. Everyone develops a style, also like a dancer, and many earn a ranking.

My coaches encourage me to fence patiently and defensively, waiting for a chance to exploit any weakness in my opponent.  When I fence like this, as my second side might prefer, I end up attacking without conviction, and aggressive actions like fléches (fléche” means arrow, and like an arrow, the fencer launches toward the opponent blade-first) take me by surprise. When I fence more aggressively, I try to take my opponent by surprise, and I react quicker to fléches. However, when I’m reckless and lose a bout, it’s often my first side’s fault for being too aggressive or getting too close.

I’ve now realized that if I learn to combine my strategies for fencing, I could fence offensively defensive, or defensively offensive. Oxymorons, yes, but they work. And if combining strategies works for fencing, it could certainly apply to my two selves. I could be daringly prudent, reclusively outgoing, and theatrically sincere.  

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Questions

Rate this essay from 1-5 with 5 being the best. What rating did you give it and why?

What personality traits did you learn about this student? 

Did you learn anything about fencing?

Do you believe that each of us has only 1 true self? Why or why not?

Is it a mistake to write about learning differences in a personal statement for colleges and universities? 

Should a student be advised not to talk about issues that are too personal in a personal statement? 

Can you think of examples issues that are too personal?

Would you think this student would make a good roommate?

Would this student bring a form of 'diversity' to a campus? Why or why not?

How much should an essay like this weigh in an admission decision? Would you be willing to admit this student even if the grades or the testing were not as high as some others? Why or why not?

Recently, a New York times blogger warned student about over sharing on application essays. Do you think this essay falls into that category? Why or why not?