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| Western Wall: Jerusalem |
The following essay was submitted to highly selective colleges and universities.
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I feel most at home when I am bargaining with a stubborn vendor, skipping cracks in the cobble stone streets, and bathing under the Mediterranean sun. There is nothing like a slice of pita, a dab of hummus, and a serving of falafel to make me feel at ease. Something about swimming in the Dead Sea feels more relaxing than swimming in the Pacific Ocean and something about the Western Wall feels more spiritual than my temple ever could. Maybe it’s the laughs my sister and I shared rolling around in the mud baths or my grandma’s tendency to pray at each street corner because she believed that every inch of Israel was holy, but it is these memories that come to mind when I think of “home”.
In Israel I met my Dad’s cousin Parivash for the first time. She welcomed me into her home with a warm embrace and endless kisses. I still remember the sweet, familiar smell of rose water as I returned her hugs. When I asked if she was happy living in Israel, Parivash had more than enough to say. She expressed that Israel was her home and home to anyone who needed refuge. Israel was where our ancestors came when escaping Egypt, and Israel was where my family came when they escaped Iran.
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| Floating on the Dead Sea |
At first what she said made no sense, as my experience in America was completely different. As an American raised in a Persian home, I felt like an outsider. My first language was Farsi, the language in which expressions for beauty are paralleled to “the delicacy of a peach’s skin” and hunger is “hidden under one’s tooth.” I observed my world through metaphors and proverbs, which let me view my surroundings with a different perspective. But when I started school and was truly exposed to American culture, my Persian identity was the last thing I wanted to be associated with. The ethnicity I once regarded highly became a reminder of my differences, and the language that once structured my self-image was now a setback in my desperate attempt to fit into American culture.
The perspective I had on myself altered when I was in Israel. Parivash’s confidence opened my eyes to what really made me feel at home in Israel: I didn’t feel embarrassed. I found myself in a country where my ethnicity didn’t define who I was; rather my individuality was cherished. To be Persian there meant that I came from a country whose culture was thriving, whose spices were valuable, and whose people were unique. It didn’t mean that I was one of the only Middle Eastern students in my school that ate yogurt with her rice and came from a place associated with terrorism. Upon returning from Israel, I celebrated my differences as an asset rather than a setback. Traveling to Israel provided me with another perspective, just as my Persian upbringing did, and has allowed me to live in my home in Los Angeles with pride and ease.
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| Persian Food |
Rate this essay from 1-5 with 5 being the highest. What rating did you give the essay and why?
Would this student bring significant diversity to her campus? If yes, should this be a significant factor in evaluating her application for admission?
After reading the first paragraph did you assume that the student was Jewish? Does the rest of the essay support this view? If not, does it matter?
Do you interact with many people from a Persian background? Why or why not?
Do you think that Iranians in America face discrimination because they are looked at suspiciously? Why or why not?
The writer initially tried to hide her cultural identity in order to fit in as an American. Is this something a student should admit to in an essay?
Do you think this student undercuts stereotypes? If so in what way?
Does the student have a uniques voice?
Are you surprised that the writer felt, at least at one point, more comfortable with her heritage in Israel than in the US? Why do you think she felt this way?
Do you think she could add a global perspective to class discussion and to her friends on campus?
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I would like to thank Sabrina for permission to post her essay here.
Her essay and other academic credentials are available the website: https://www.admitsee.com. This website permits people to read all the materials of successful applicants to highly selective schools. To get full access, however, people need to pay a fee. The students themselves receive a stipend to help them earn money while in college while those who run the site use the funds to promote examples of strong students. I am grateful to those who have founded the site for letting me post the entire essay here for free.
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