How To Succeed In Business by Really Trying 3: Tutorial from an Entrepreneur

What do you want to do with your life? The clichéd question stumps some, but Melissa Lim demonstrates that with a vision about how to create change—in oneself and in those around us-- great things don’t just happen by accident, they move, transmuted from the mind into the world.

***************************************************************************** 

Can you tell us a little about your early life? Where did you grow up and go to school? What do you love about Singapore? What would change about it?

Oh I was quite the nonconformist wild child in school. Recently, there is an awesome cover story in the latest edition of The New Republic on the defense of the wild child and how American Schools Are Failing Nonconformist Kids. It captures my sentiments on this issue exactly. In fact, and you probably already know this, the American education system is much more conducive to wild, nonconformist kids compared to Asia. You can only imagine how this whole turning creative kids into submissive little robots is an even bigger issue in Asia. This may be especially true of Singapore, one of the four Asian tigers, where human capital is our best resource, so we take an extremely strict approach to educating and disciplining the young. Self-regulation and obedience is hugely emphasized, with a zero-tolerance policy for mediocrity, emotional outbursts and independent thinking.

It is pretty ironic that I went to St Anthony's Canossian, an all-girls Catholic secondary school run by nuns; there,  I had to wear a blue uniform and knee length skirts complete with name tags (I know, right - sounds like a mini version of a big brother state in George Orwell's popular 1984 dystopian novel). As you can imagine, this was a recipe for disaster for me, because I'm a strong advocate of individuality, bright colors and mini-skirts.

Essentially, I went to one of the strictest schools in one of the strictest countries in the world where imagination, innovation and creativity, the three hallmarks of an successful entrepreneur or a writer, often go to die.

From this (this isn't me by the way)

To this (I was 18 in this picture), with my sorority sisters from University of Houston and University of Texas (Austin):

I mean, I always did well at the beginning of classes but got restless very quickly when the material or teacher wasn't engaging enough, so I would seek out stimulation in other ways that would make me come alive because what the world really needs are more people who are full of life.

I've always followed my curiosity so at the tender age of 13, I started working part-time  and have taken lots of different jobs since then. I wanted to get out of the proverbial box and witness first-hand how the other side, the underground subcultures, think and live.

My experiences convince me that going through experiences like that during your most impressionable years widens your perspective and make you grow up very quickly. I enjoyed interacting with all sorts of dynamic and interesting people outside the classroom environment. My parents wouldn't give me anything extra to buy--unnecessary items like nice clothes and make-up (understandably because a teenage girl shouldn't focus so much on outward appearance as that would garner unnecessary attention before I'm well-equipped to handle it), but I believe that your outside appearance is a canvas for who you are on the inside. In other words how I dressed  was one way I expressed myself.

When I wanted something, I often felt that I had to have it no matter what, so I was motivated to seek out ways to earn my keep and buy what I wanted. That is when I fell behind in school and my more industrious peers caught up with me and surpassed me in grades. The story of the rabbit and the tortoise never rang truer in my case. I'm ok with it though, and unlike many of the tortured geniuses who internalized the voices of harsh critics and use that as a driving force to propel themselves to success, I have no chip on my shoulder. I believe that if you do anything for the approval of others, you'll die by their rejection.

My motivation comes from true passion, immense curiosity, a genuine love for people, a fascination with this beautiful world we live in, and a burning desire to express my most authentic self to form deep emotional connections with other people and make the most out of life. My early exposure to working life and a different group of people who were unlike me helped me cultivate manners, earn street credit, and become more well-versed with the ways of the world. It built up an inner strength and confidence in my ability to not just survive, but thrive, in highly unfamiliar terrains.

Have you found that you have had to educate people about your home and what really goes on there? Do you think the stereotypes have limited you in any way in your many creative enterprises?

I find that many people in the US do not know much about Singapore and what they do know is often slanted.

Stereotypes are there for us to make sense of something we don't quite understand, so I embrace the flattering stereotypes while disproving the not-so-flattering ones. When you can disprove the not-so-flattering aspects of stereotypes, people become curious about you because they want to resolve the cognitive dissonance. You become unique and you stand out.

Sure, I'm very honored to be associated with Singapore because most overseas Singaporeans (I'm actually the black swan) are perceived as smart, based mostly on how we score better on exams compared to our first-world counterparts, but if you dig deeper, you'll realize that this isn't due to raw intelligence or our brain's processing power, but to our rigorous and systematic education process where everything has an approved method and answer, and everything is being measured quantitatively. You can't measure sense of humor or creativity or "figuring things out", which are sometimes better indications of intelligence.

Yeah, we've done incredibly well for a city-state of only 5 million people with no natural resources, and yet, despite our limitations, we're able to go from a 3rd world fishing village to a clean, perfectly efficient 1st world country in less than 50 years, becoming a major financial hub with a world-class airport and a top 3 trading port, so much so  that we now have the highest number of millionaires - but that comes with its own set of challenges. Are we really embracing our humanity or are our citizens seen merely as an economic unit on a chessboard? We face an emotional deficit - according to reputable survey sources.

Singapore has sacrificed creativity for a high GDP but hey, as Spock from Star Trek would say, the needs of many outweighs the needs of the few. I just so happen to fall into the few - soooooooo too bad for me --yo.

Steve Wozniak said that a company like Apple Couldn’t Emerge in Singapore, a place where bad behavior isn't tolerated, and I'm afraid I have to concur. Where are the great artists? The great writers? The great entrepreneurs?

I understand that rules are there for social stability, but surely we need to make room for social progress? So what I did was learn all the rules and then break the ones that just didn't make sense to me, which meant almost all of them. That was the mindset I adopted from Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart. Pablo Picasso also once said that you want learn the rules like a pro so that you can break them like an artist.

Don't get me wrong though - Singapore will always have a special place in my heart, but the stifling environment wouldn't truly allow my creativity and entrepreneurial spirit to reach a world-class level. I am determined to become a great entrepreneur and a great writer and will stop at nothing . I wlll continue to strive; if I did not  I think my soul would suffocate.

Why did you decide to come to the US for Uni? Were you happy with your choice and what were some of the things you learned you did not expect to? How did your university experience change you?

I was sixteen when I was suddenly uprooted from Singapore to Houston because my Dad decided to pursue a business opportunity there. At that time, I entered the public university that was closest to where I lived. Tuition was affordable and I managed to graduate with no loans because I took up numerous jobs. I've always made the best out of any situation and college was certainly the most transformative time of my life.

Have you always been a creative risk-taker or did you develop this trait?

I've always been creative. Here is a fascinating article in The Wall Street Journal on how creativity and innovation is a result of collective intelligence. This means that new ideas are formed due to the exchange of thoughts. Breakthrough innovation occurs when different heads work at the same problem from mutiple angles. Fast Company has an article on how Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, And Maria Popova Got More Creative: essentially they each learned to see the connections between seemingly unrelated things  The trick for me then is to be curious and mindful about the world at large. It is about talking and asking probing questions about and to different people and to accumulate as many different life experiences as possible.

As for being a risk-taker, on the surface, it might seem that I'm taking a lot of risks but I really don't consider myself that much of a risk-taker because whenever I embark on something, I have psychologically primed myself for the worse-case scenarios. My risk has already been calculated. Besides, if you don't risk anything, you're actually risking even more. I try not to focus on the end destination but to embrace and have fun learning from the process. Like I mentioned, innovation and creativity is about connecting dots from your experiences.

You seem to be fearless in starting up new ventures. Can you tell us about them? What started you on this path?

It all stems from an immense hunger to learn and grow. It is all about taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase. Sometimes, nothing is more liberating than having your worst fear realized.

As human beings, it is biologically embedded in us from our hunter gathering days  to have fears and insecurities. Back then, humans needed to protect themselves from being eaten alive or in starving from lack of food. Today I take my need to explore and innovate but I also rationalize my emotions away, knowing that a lot of these fears and insecurities are irrelevant in the modern context. To me, courage isn't the absence of fear, but the judgment that something else is more important. Every time you face your fear, you take some power back. I've learned how to power through embarrassment and rejection,  to zap negative thoughts, to ignore frivolous comments, and not to  dwell on  the darker side of certain emotions.

Cleopatra

Currently, I'm working on these two ventures:

Beautimy

The incredibly sharp and generous founder of Ratemyprofessors.com (rumored to have sold to Viacom for the low eight figures), Patrick Nagle (Patrick Nagle | CrunchBase Profile), came up with the name for us.

This innovative mission-driven e-commerce venture grew out of the intersection of my two greatest loves: beauty/personal care and technology. I started trying out lots of different beauty and personal care products at the age of 15 so  I am both knowledgeable about the market  and  passionate about consumer psychology. The average American uses about 15 different personal care products a day; clearly, it is a big market to play in. The beauty industry has been important since the days of Cleopatra and it is not going away anytime soon. However, the way things are marketed  now is pretty archaic too, so we're taking a new innovative spin on it.

I used to work for a high-traffic women's website and my clients included some of the world's biggest beauty and fashion brands like L'Oreal, Estee Lauder, Marc Jacobs, etc. When I was working there, I had the honor to interview the extremely gracious six-foot tall sisters of Benefit Cosmetics, one of my favorite beauty brands. I love almost every one of their products, and this includes everything from their packaging, naming and the effectiveness of the product itself. They rarely do any advertising because they invest all their marketing dollars into making an even better product; their product sells mainly through word-of-mouth. They also have one of the fewest SKUs (stock keeping unit), because they believe in quality over quantity.

They have inspired me to try my hand at creating great products that I want to use everyday, and to build a meaningful brand that many will fall in love with! It is very gratifying to see your product come to life from just a concept and then to see your customer's eyes widen with excitement as they grab it with their hands.

My idea was brought to life when I took a Technology Entrepreneurship Class taught at Stanford University. There I met highly engaged people with awesome energy and together we  cross-pollinated our ideas.

Techchic

I was new to LA and working on my beauty and personal care start-up, when I realized how entrepreneurship can be for some,  an isolating and daunting journey. Phil Lader once said:  "ideas without relationships are just academics and relationships without ideas is just networking."  I wanted to meet like-minded individuals to exchange experiences, pool our intellectual and real world resources together, and to give each other moral support. Not surprisingly, it was very time-consuming for me to go to event after events after event. As a result, I ended up combining forces with another driven and talented entrepreneur, Sandra Pan of MoodBot, where we both decided to start our own events group, TechChic. Our goal is to create memorable experiences that inspire our attendees. Our mission:

authentic relationships plus great ideas equals to breakthrough innovation.

I also have a book project up my sleeves to chronicle everything that I am doing but I can't go too much into detail on that yet.

Do you think it is harder for a female to be perceived as a disruptive innovator?

No, I believe that you make real what you pay attention to and positivity begets success. In F1 car racing, car racers are thought not to focus on the wall, because if you focus on the wall, you'll hit the wall, so focus on the road! In fact, I love being female in a male-dominated space, it makes me stand out. When people doubt me, it keeps me on my toes to do better and prove them wrong.

Do you think it is harder for an Asian?

Like I mentioned in my previous answer, I believe you get what you focus on and a lot of limitations are self-imposed. I let go of thoughts that don't make me strong because perception shapes reality. So many things in life are beyond our control and we cannot control what other people think. I choose not to pay attention to the glass or the bamboo ceilings; to do so, would stifle me. Instead, I choose to focus on what is within my sphere-of-influence.

What are you proudest of?

I'm proud when my loved ones are proud of me. I'm proud when I have made a positive impact on others. I'm proud when I feel like I'm being a heroine. A heroine to me means comforting the fallen and sorrowful, healing the sick, reassuring the fearful, rescuing the oppressed, bringing hope to the hopeless, and sheltering the destitute.

Your willingness to reach out is admirable and it also speaks of your ability to be a leader. What makes a good leader and a good co-worker and are they the same traits?

Good teammates make mistakes and good leaders allow them to if they own up and rectify it. Mistakes are only mistakes if you make them twice.

                               Everyone is Free to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann

If you truly understand your teammates’ deepest motivations (this means being a good listener and asking good questions in a gentle and nonjudgmental manner) and help them see how your vision for the company will meet their needs and help them grow,  then they will be very loyal to you. Develop a good sense of self and feel comfortable in your own skin because only then can you make tough decisions and hold unpopular positions. Have self-assurance, confidence and conviction because as Jeff Bezos says, people will misunderstand you and you have to get used to being misunderstood.

Boldness has magic, genius and power in it. Be transparent, energetic, open and vulnerable. Be stubborn on vision but flexible in details. See the best in yourself, the best in others, and the best in the world around you so that you will radiate a warmth and charisma that will draw people to you. If your actions inspire others to do more, dream more, learn more and become more, then you are a leader.

Do you have any heroes/role models?

Yes, I have plenty. I draw inspiration from many leaders and best selling authors. Angela Ahrendts and J.K Rowling are my current heroines. I find them the most relatable because they were not born with a silver spoon. They come from humble origins and have achieved what I am striving towards achieving. They are your underdogs and unlikely success stories. They have climbed their way up from nothing, and yet still remain very grounded and have never forgotten where they came from. Most importantly, they truly care about people. They can walk with kings without losing the common touch.

Angela Ahrendts focused her energy on building the new instead of fighting the old. She transformed a dying British fashion house by using technology and targeting millennials, and that is exactly what I intend to do. She has moved from high-fashion (Burberry) into tech (Apple), two things I'm deeply passionate about as well.

J.K Rowling is also inspiring because she had to overcome poverty and divorce to become such a prolific writer. Her commencement speech at Harvard on the importance of failure and imagination has profoundly impacted me and served as a foundation to keep me grounded and to lead my life.

What advice do you have about others who are younger but who also have a wish to make an impact?

There are three poems which words I've always lived by: Desiderata, If by Rudyard Kipling and Everyone is Free to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann.

Do you have a long-term vision or do you reassess things in your life for the sort term or is it some of both?

I have a basic framework and roadmap because that gives me purpose and meaning to everything I do, but at the same time, I understand that there no guarantees in life and the only thing that doesn't change is change, so I always make room for serendipity and I'm flexible to market changes.

Do you have advice for parents about how to raise someone as innovative and creative as you are?

Allow your children to experiment and to pay attention to the world at large.

*******************************************************************************

I would like to thank Melissa for changing the way I view the path to success. Her route has taken her from Singapore and the restrictions she found there to LA and the open-ended ride of entrepreneurship.  Her words teach me that there are things one needs to learn that don’t always happen in classes. Like others I have known who have great success in business, her spirit is restless; her mind moves quickly and confidently from one challenge to the next. I look forward to watching her ascent in many of her endeavors.  I believe that many will think of her, in the not too distant future, when they choose to risk putting their owns dreams into action.

                                                               If by Kipling