Essay Test: The great debate--are some activities better than others?

The following essay was submitted to highly selective universities in answer to the short answer question: tell us about an activity that has been important to you.

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My summers have been filled with problems. I spent one summer exploring the reliability of evidence obtained under hypnosis, another projecting the collapse of higher education, and another study the ominous effects of climate change. While these may seem unusual summer pastimes, the debate workshops at which I did this research were extremely rewarding and personally enriching. I sharpened important skills and gained a great deal of useful knowledge.

A major aim of these workshops was to generate large quantities of information relating to that year’s debate resolution. We hoped to arm ourselves with briefs and documents for debates in the upcoming year. Even if we had worked 24 hours a day, 7 days a week we could never have finished. We had little time for sleep, although we did make plenty of time for fun. The regulations were few and the general atmosphere approached anarchy. But, with this added freedom came added responsibility. We had to discipline ourselves, and therefore our accomplishments were truly our own. These factors contributed to an ideal climate for fun, learning, and personal growth.

In search of useful evidence we spent countless hours combing the libraries (water pistols and Frisbees were checked at the door). We soon became comfortable with the library’s computers and learned how to search for articles, books, and databases, In addition, the many debate strategy sessions taught us to understand and express our ideas more clearly than we thought probable or possible. My research and reasoning skills increased manifold. I have found these skills to be helpful throughout high school and expect they will be equally useful in college.

We were, perhaps, our own best teachers. We were not all nerds, or jocks, or emos. In fact, we were not all anything, least of all easy clichés or catchphrases meant to house us under the comfortable roof for stereotypical kids. We were not bound by some intense desire to argue, but we were drawn by the ways voices sway when trained to use rhetoric and detail: ice cap melt rates, the failure rate of schools to meet grade appropriate tests, or the way the parts of the brain heat up when primed by suggestions.  It was a bond not between debaters, but between people, each of us our own spokesperson yet each an advocate for each other too. In just weeks I formed some of my strongest friendships.

My guess would be that most teenagers would not wish to spend their summers researching the world’s problems, but I am glad I did.

Questions:

Rate this essay from 1-5 with five being the highest. What rating did you give it and why?

Do you think this student is smart? Why or why not?

Does this student know how to use a hook to begin his essay?

Is writing about a debate a topic too mundane a topic to impress admission officers at highly selective schools?

Does the writer convince you that the skills he learned will help him be a better student in college? Why or why not?

Are some student activities inherently better than others in terms of topics for admission applications? Why or why not?

Do you think admission offices would ever tell you if some activities were perceived as more practical or useful than others?

Do you think individual admission officers value some activities far differently than other admission officers? For example, would a former debater reading an application think this essay was stronger than another that he or she cared little about?

If a student knew that the admission officer to their top choice school was a former debater should this knowledge affect the choice of topic? Why or why not? Does this question seem unethical? If so, why?

Have you ever joined an activity thinking it would look good to colleges? Have you ever then found out that the activity itself became far more important than you thought it would? If so, would you ever admit this to a college in an essay?