Toby’s words, like his story, should inspire anyone
and everyone. His journey in life has taken him across different continents,
cultures, and educational systems.
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Your
transition from China to the US is anything but typical. Can you talk in a
little about where you went to secondary school and lived?
I was
born in China and lived there until I was 10, after which I joined my parents
in Ghana and spent 8 years there. That took me out of China’s Gaokao system. I
went to Achimota School, a storied institution that produced many prominent
African leaders (and dictators) over the decades. Students are admitted based
on academic merits and studies are taken very seriously, but it is not a cram
school in the Chinese or Korean tradition. It is a bit of an atypical path, but
a wonderful one nevertheless.
 |
| Achimota School |
Why
did you decide to study in the US instead of the UK?
UK
boasts great institutions with long traditions of excellence, but in the end it
was an easy personal decision to come to the US. The US has more Universities
and more diversity within its Universities – in terms of size, geography,
student body makeup, academics etc. Additionally, someone reminded me that the
crossroad of the world is still at 42nd and Broadway. Chalk it up to the
enduring romanticism of the New World and its immense promises.
 |
| 42nd and Broadway |
Do you define yourself as a global nomad or third culture kid?
In other words did you, as the title of a movie about TCKs has it, feel 'neither here nor there' or do you now feel you are rooted in the very different
places you have lived?
Yes, I
do see myself as a TCK. Having to integrate a few different experiences has
been the core challenge and the great blessing of my life so far. “One
foot in, one foot out” is a characteristic feeling of TCKs with regards to the
cultures that they are immersed in and I am no stranger to that visceral and
viscerally fascinating sensibility. At the same time, I also feel deeply attached
to all three countries that I have been fortunate to call home. China gives me
a sense of heritage and root. Ghana keeps the memories of my formative early
youth. The US provides me the grounding and outlook as an adult. The one foot
that is in each of the three cultures is firmly, resolutely, in. The challenge
of this search for identity is more than made up by the reward of possessing multiple-perspectives.
Thanks
for the movie recommendation, by the way, looks like an interesting and
relevant film for me!
Did
you have a tough transition coming to the US? What were some of the biggest
challenges?
It was
a disaster at first. My grades tanked and my social relationships were a mess
in my freshman year. Unlike most of my fellow international students, I was
neither focused nor purposeful, academically or otherwise.
I was
so clueless that my clues had no clue. I had no idea about social cues, expectations
and protocols in the American context. I spoke English fine, but I did not
speak the language of football, or Greek life, or dating life, or pop culture,
or high school antics, or diversity itself, or of any number of topics that a
homegrown student could and did take for granted. The resulting hilarities from
my lack of knowledge are some of my fondest memories. At the time, the lack of
cultural fluency meant I was always a step behind, always a step out of sync.
It was as true as standing in line at the cafeteria (oops) as asking a girl out
on a date (OOPS).
But
perhaps more importantly, the bar of self-responsibility and management were
also raised. I was an “adult” in name, but in reality, I was still hilariously
juvenile: I was just a kid, and an only kid (child) at that. Everyone has to go
through some version of this transition, and it posed challenges to all students,
but to add cultural transition on top of everything means the tasks at hand was
multiplied. The same recipe with the right attitude is also, notably, a
wonderful opportunity for personal growth.
Did
you choose to hang out with other students from China or because of your
background did you make other choices?
Good
question and a funny thing. I did not consciously choose. I lucked out with a
group of friends from my freshman dorm. Two weeks into my first semester two
girls came around collecting birth dates. Two months after that I was given a
surprise birthday cake/party. A dozen or so of this group remained close ever
since. I am the only Asian and the only international student of the group,
while occasionally it felt odd it was rarely an obstacle to forming close
relationships. I also had a group of very good friends from China, and a group
of International friends that I was close with. Friends from my major and from
my activities also enriched my social circles in College.
Perhaps I did “choose” unconsciously, and if so my background certainly
has something to do with it. I think my general “cluelessness” had a role – I
didn’t consciously treat anyone differently and I would confide in and be
available to my non-Asian friends as much as I would my Asian friends. I was
quite open to sharing and my guard was often down which perhaps allowed people
to come in easily.
One
thing you mentioned to me is that for your educational experience to be a
success you had to take proactive steps to make positive things happen. Could
you go into some details about a few of the things you did? I find that many
students who come into university are not aware of how they need to be their
own best advocate so I think this response would be the most important.
Starting
from my sophomore year in College, I became highly involved in a number of
student organizations. I first became a college tour guide, introducing parents
and high school students to the University. Later I headed up an organization
that mentored International Students. I worked as an orientation leader,
introducing new students to the University, and I worked as a special loan
officer for the Dean of Students, giving out short term interest-free loans to
needy students. Most interestingly, however, I was an elected member of the
University’s student justice/legal system.
The
university I attended had a student run disciplinary system, where students
accused of lying, cheating academically, or stealing are judged by a jury of
fellow students. The system is almost 200 years old and is one of the oldest
student run organizations at the University. Traditionally, very few minority
students ran elections to be part of the student representative committee,
which determined how the system is run. Fewer still international students ever
participated. However, African American students were accused of an offense at
500% the average rate, International students: 400%. Needless to say, I became
heavily involved in trying to understand and address that wide discrepancy.
It was
not a simple problem, and there was no simple answer (or rather, I neither came
up with an effective solution nor was able to push reform through). However, we
did improve awareness and communication of the issues, which led to overall
improvement in how people thought about and addressed the problem. While I was
the only non-White elected member of the committee during my term, the next
term saw multiple Asians and minority students on the Committee, and in the term
after that the committee elected its first Asian American chairperson in its
almost 200 year history. Now, I claim no credit whatsoever in the success of
those who came after me, they owe their accomplishment to themselves, but
through my and their experiences I learnt two vital life lessons:
West Wing
1.
Like
the American TV show “The West Wing” emphasized: decisions are made by those
who show up. If I wanted to make a change, to have an impact, to improve the
bias or stereotype levied unfairly on a subgroup of students, then I must
engage in that dialogue, I must participate and I must move the ball along in
the direction that I believe is right.
2.
There
is no better place to start learning “how to” participate and take charge of
one’s experiences than the campus of a University. Indeed, a University is the
ideal place to learn how to engage in respectful dialogue, how to push for
change, how to take ownership of one’s condition. It is the place to experiment
and be proactive. If I didn’t run for election, if I didn’t ask my fellow all-white
committee members for resources to work on minority issues, I would have never
known that I could. At a University, every student has equal access to all the
opportunities and have equal say in how one’s experiences ought to be, whether
s/he is an international student or not.
The most surprising thing I learnt, thus, is how receptive and
open the community can be to our demands for change when it is reasonable or
just. To get there one has to be proactive, to get out of one’s comfort zone.
The reward, both personally and on behalf of the entire community, will more
than likely make up for everything one puts in. In retrospect these lessons are
as important as any class, professional skills or credentials that I earned
through my formal education. The opportunity is not to be missed, but one has
to take the steps to knock on the door.
As different
as Toby’s experiences have been from most of us in the world, the way he approaches
challenges and change as opportunities too learn can serve as a guide for all
of us. Sometimes a transition down the block can be hard. But part of the way
to make things happen is to be, to use an overused and often misunderstood
term, proactive. The word often connotes action but often leaves out the more
important component: attitude. Toby’s passion for life and positive approach
before even starting something primes him for success. The other thing he
shares--listen and learn--another
overused phrase we often gloss over in a glance. But listening well requires
effort and training. In doing so, Toby
learns to be an informed leader—of his own path but also of many others as
well. Toby rose from being just an interesting international student to one of
the most visible students in leadership positions in his large research
university. His membership and participation in elite positions did not come
about by anything more than hard work, willingness to fight for issues, but
also an attitude that promoted compromise rather than confrontation. I daresay
many of the leading politicians in the world could learn a lot from him. In
Part 2 of his interview, Toby will give share more about what his experiences
have been both in school and in the real world.
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