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| Albrecht Dürer. Self-Portrait, 1500 |
An international student applying to highly selective universities in the US wrote the following personal statement.
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Born into a military family, I was taught to be highly self-disciplined and responsible to society. Though both my parents are atheists and are devout Marxists, I have gained a strong, indefatigable interest in divinity studies.
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| Shen Jingdong exhibit |
My interest in theology began in primary school and when I was 13 I became a Christian. However, having different beliefs and world outlooks, my communication about faith matters with my parents forced me to question myself at every turn: What does religion mean to me, to my family, and to my country and culture?
Every time I think about these questions, I also call to mind my desire to become a divinity studies major in a top university in the US. The decision is both simple and complicated: it is a kick in my gallop but it is also the authentic part of myself, my dream during my childhood and teenage years, and I feel this passion will not vanish for the rest of my life. I have faith, or belief, in my belief.
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| self portrait in a convex mirror: parmigianino |
As mentioned above, being a responsible person is one of my family’s moral codes. However, I do not wish to become a part of the military elite, as my family seemed to want. I do not wish simply to try to carry forward my father’s positions and achievements; instead, I want to make a difference, both for myself personally and for the world.
My hopes for change were first instilled in my love for reading. Words opened a door to a whole new world for me. I will, until my dying day, remember the days I spend in the community library. There, I disappeared into the world of Jane Eyre (which I read nearly 100 times when I was 8), Wuthering Heights, Gone With the Wind, and Vanity Fair. The words in these books are what actually inspired me to study religion—the characters’ devoted prayers, the satisfaction gained from believing in God’s almighty power, and the strong psychological nature of the female characters made me seek out religious texts of all kinds. I learned much about Catholicism, Buddhism, and other religions.
I have grown up in an atmosphere in which religious beliefs were thought of as myths, but to me religion is magic of the good sort. I began reading monographs on religion and theology. Yet, at the same time, I lived in a country that is not concerned about religion except when the beliefs of some ethnic minorities threaten the government in some way. I saw that religion could help satisfy what Maslow calls a hierarchy of needs and also help to promote human rights as well.
During all of mu study I have come to believe that I have been chosen by God to become his lamb and to become a great student I theology so that I may promote my journey and knowledge to others. Every night for the recent months I have thought about how I would approach my desire to pursue this dream and how my parents would react. To my surprise my father listened to my plans and concurred. When I asked him what made an atheist support his ‘ridiculous’ daughter’s decision to study theology he simply replied with a smile. My mother, on the other hand, began asking a great many questions.
Is theology a career? Can I marry someone not of my faith? Can I eat meat? Will I not love her if she is not a believer?
It seems she is going to be the first person I can begin to teach about religious studies! Perhaps a single person cannot change a culture and the world, but I am willing to try. I know the journey is long but I am willing to take the first step This is why I wish to become a scholar in religious studies—not simply because I am a Christian in an atheist country but because I am a patriotic citizen and my responsibility is to be meaningful to society. I believe that educating people about religion in my country will benefit individuals and will open the path toward increased human rights for those who wish to pursue their own religious beliefs too.
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Questions:
If you were an admission officer at a highly selective university would you write favorable comments about this essay? What would you say?
Is it a mistake to talk about religion in an admission essay? Why or why not?
This Chinese student has an academic interest that is rare for the entire applicant pool to any selective university. It is almost unheard of for a Chinese student to pursue religious studies. Does this academic interest count as diversity? Why or why not?
Most admission offices limit the number of students coming from any given country or region. Some schools have de facto quotas for Asian students. (They are perceived to be a group that has common interests and backgrounds.) Do you agree with an ideological approach that gives greater weight in admission to membership of a group (race, socio-economic level, country or origin, etc.) rather than to individual background and experience? Why or why not?
Should some of the formal idiosyncrasies of this essay hurt the student’s chance of admission?
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| Frida Kahlo Self-Portrait |
Many students in China receive significant help with their essays. Does this essay seem genuinely written by the student?
Is it possible that this student chose this intended major as a way of increasing the chances of admission? If so, what evidence would you put forward? If not, what else would you look for in the application to support this academic interest?
Do you admire this student for daring to take on the expectations of parents, culture, and country? Why or why not?
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