Voices: Mind the Gap

In this addition to the series of profiles of students who have come to the US from China, we hear from a student who made a decision not many in her place make.                  

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It has been five years since I came to United States as a junior in high school. Looking back, I was definitely considered one of those “FOB” (fresh off the boat) students. For those not familiar with this term, it means that I was not fluent in most of the cultural traditions of American schools and society as a whole. The term has been used since generations of immigrants first arrived on Ellis Island.

My Americanization journey, however, never was overwhelmingly difficult since I am always willing to learn and to accept new cultures; in addition, I have an adventurous spirit and am self-confident and a highly motivated student.

Since then, I have undergone many changes. I am now in my third year of study at my university. There are many students from China here with me, but I am one of the very few who made the decision to become a part of Greek life. When I talk about it with my Chinese friends, their first reaction is “Is it an Asian sorority?” With my parents I have been very blessed to have them be supportive of my decisions. I believe most parents want their kids to be happy. My parents don't completely understand everything I do because of the cultural difference; it is hard to explain to them sometimes. But they can clearly tell how happy I am from all the pictures (bijillions of them) I sent them. My parents fully trust my decision about what is the right thing to do, and what would make me happy.

For many in the US, going Greek is an important rite of passage. Greek life for Chinese students is, well, it is not common to say the least. Why? I may not be the best person to ask since the most part of my American experience is with American friends. When I came to the US, I was determined to interact with American students and not just to stay in the safe haven of my Chinese classmates.

Adapting into American culture has been my goal since I came to the States. Isn’t that one of the reasons why we choose to study abroad? To explore diverse culture, to take advantage of the opportunities our parents provide us, and to explore something our peer friends don’t have the chance to experience.

In some ways I was lucky I was the only international student in my first year dorm. It forced me to reach out to other students. I always felt that I was very well blended into my friends’ groups. We made a decision to go through Sorority Rush, which takes place during the beginning of the second semester, together. Without knowing the reputation of any of the sororities, I went into the sorority recruitment process--rush. It was … a very good way to practice my English. I had been home speaking Chinese over winter break so I had to switch languages and cultures from the moment I arrived back. Talking to five hundred girls while utterly jetlagged was one of the most amazing experiences I have had. I learned that my natural ability to feel comfortable in any situation was to my benefit. While some of the rushes were completely stressed about the process, I took it as a chance to learn and to have fun. By the way, my sarcasm is way better now compared to five years ago, when I was “fresh off the boat”. A critical distance from some of the process is a great weapon to escape the hype and the stress.

After going through the numerous ‘rounds’ of meeting and greeting. I received the bid from AXO. The girls in Alpha Chi Omega are down to earth and appreciate my foreign humor. So far, it has been one of the best decisions I have made. It truly has made me feel like I have a home away from home. Everyone has been so welcoming; actually, I wouldn’t use the word ‘welcoming’, because my sisters have made me feel like part of community instead of a foreigner. Being in a sorority, I have definitely had a different college life compare to many other Chinese students. In my opinion, it is more exciting and more fun than staying in just one type of student or community.

While I was writing this, I asked my sorority sisters “ When you interact with me, are you consciously aware I am a foreigner?” Here is the answer I got, and it is also the reason why I am sitting here and enjoying my sorority life “Well, when I talk to you I just think of you as a friend and someone in my pledge class, a sister.”

I have made so many more friends, not only the AXO friends, but also the ones I made through the connections AXO provides. These are life-long friends. Actually, last week while attending a career fair, I talked to an AXO who just graduated is now working for Capital One. It was great seeing her there. We shared something in common, and she was very helpful about explaining the position for which they were recruiting.

 It is also true that even if I didn't join a sorority, I would still be going out and having fun with my other friends. My sorority has provided me a broader social outlet. We have many bonding events such as snow-tubing, broom ball, apple picking, etc. There are many many things I am grateful for since I have joined AXO. Not trying to be sraty or anything. SISTA FOR LIFE. 

        At the same time I do not feel as if I have to hide my identity as a Chinese, I rock it in AXO. People accept me and support me for who I am. I joke about being AZN, I joke about how "I don't speak English" all the time. People like that I am different in some ways, yet also able to participate fully in my sisterhood too.

I like to share my experiences with other people and hope these words have give people some idea how it is possible to join in without giving up who I am. My experiences are different from many other international Chinese students and also different from the American students as well. I would like to say that I am helping, in some small way, to bridge the gap.

I would like to thank Shuang for sharing these words. She, like Paul Chen, in a previous post, has gained a great deal from her Greek experience. It is a choice and an opportunity but it is not for all. I hope her words will inspire at least some students to consider exploring this option or perhaps others that will give them the chance to learn in ways that will change their lives ad their point of view. In addition, taking a risk outside of one’s comfort zone is going to be a growth experience that will encourage further exploration and further success.

As with many of the other entries on this blog submitted by Chinese students, Shuang has demonstrated that the term Chinese student means as little or as much as an American student. It is a sad fact, however, that many in this country do not see it this way. The grouping of students under a term is to forget each person’s individuality and when that happens racism often becomes an issue. If you think I am exaggerating, a viral video from a college student underscores the cultural stereotypes that are often in play in colleges, the workplace, and in politics too.

I would like to thank Shuang for her words, her photos, and most of all for her efforts to help bring words that bring people together as sisters and friends.