A great writer, Pico Iyer, in an essay on St Patrick's Cathedral, talks about the ways in which human nature has changed rapidly in the last century:
Giant figures are talking and strutting and singing on enormous screens above me, and someone is chattering away on the mini-screen in the cab from which I just stepped. Nine people at this street corner are shouting into thin air, wearing wires around their chins and jabbing at the screens in their hands. One teenager, I read recently, sent 300,000 text messages in a month—or 10 a minute for every minute of her waking day, assuming that she was awake 16 hours a day. There are more cell phones than people on the planet now, almost (ten mobiles for every one at the beginning of the century). Even by the end of the past century, the average human being in a country such as ours saw as many images in a day as a Victorian inhaled in a lifetime.
No, why?
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1. Students being on the "cutting edge" shouldn't necessarily be rewarded. This could be due to their parents' wealth rather than their personal abilities.
2. Quora is one of many similar sites. Universities should not discriminate based on the choice of website.
3. Quora is not necessarily the future. I don't really see a difference between Quora and Yahoo Answers. The main difference is the community, which has nothing to do with the website itself.
4. Colleges do not have enough time to carefully browse the answers for every student. Generally, colleges only spend ~30 minutes per student.
5. Allowing colleges to see your Quora posts means that you must filter your answers with that in mind. For example, I would no longer be able to post controversial answers or questions (see my answer history for some examples).
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1. Students being on the "cutting edge" shouldn't necessarily be rewarded. This could be due to their parents' wealth rather than their personal abilities.
2. Quora is one of many similar sites. Universities should not discriminate based on the choice of website.
3. Quora is not necessarily the future. I don't really see a difference between Quora and Yahoo Answers. The main difference is the community, which has nothing to do with the website itself.
4. Colleges do not have enough time to carefully browse the answers for every student. Generally, colleges only spend ~30 minutes per student.
5. Allowing colleges to see your Quora posts means that you must filter your answers with that in mind. For example, I would no longer be able to post controversial answers or questions (see my answer history for some examples).
Hi Dan,
I think you are right to have that immediate response.
here is my thinking on this:
I. In part it would demonstrate that some students are on the cutting edge. Alex Wu posted some things about quora today that led me to think of this question. If quora is the future shouldn't colleges and universities see who is aware of what the future is. I quote a lot: "the future is already here, it is simply unevenly distributed" William Gibson.
II. More importantly, if they are on quora, then it would give a great window into the mind of a student. What kinds of questions are they asking? What questions are they answering? I think these two things might be much more useful than an essay that has been through many sets of eyes and hands before it reaches an admission office.
I think you are right to have that immediate response.
here is my thinking on this:
I. In part it would demonstrate that some students are on the cutting edge. Alex Wu posted some things about quora today that led me to think of this question. If quora is the future shouldn't colleges and universities see who is aware of what the future is. I quote a lot: "the future is already here, it is simply unevenly distributed" William Gibson.
II. More importantly, if they are on quora, then it would give a great window into the mind of a student. What kinds of questions are they asking? What questions are they answering? I think these two things might be much more useful than an essay that has been through many sets of eyes and hands before it reaches an admission office.
1. Students being on the "cutting edge" shouldn't necessarily be rewarded. This could be due to their parents' wealth rather than their personal abilities.
2. Quora is one of many similar sites. Universities should not discriminate based on the choice of website.
3. Quora is not necessarily the future. I don't really see a difference between Quora and Yahoo Answers. The main difference is the community, which has nothing to do with the website itself.
4. Colleges do not have enough time to carefully browse the answers for every student. Generally, colleges only spend ~30 minutes per student.
5. Allowing colleges to see your Quora posts means that you must filter your answers with that in mind. For example, I would no longer be able to post controversial answers or questions (see my answer history for some examples).
Dan,
you have made my night. I am glad to have asked this questions and
earned your replies. They are cogent and precise. Thank you.
Let me see if I can respond in ways that might flesh this out a bit.
I. I am not sure there is a direct correlation between being on the 'cutting edge' and wealth. Do you have data to back this up?
II. You are correct. Let's say a range of options should be included on the Common Application.
III. See II (this is a paltry attempt to be funny)
IV. You are far too generous in your time assessment. In my 30 years of doing evaluations I would say my average per student was much closer to 15 minutes. All admission officers at highly selective schools are under huge time constraints. So are our primary care physicians. Good decisions can be made quickly with the proper training (a question I will raise with respect to admission readers in the future). Despite the current Gladwell bashing that serves as sport for some, his 'blink/think' meme is useful I think.
V. Everyone is filtering on quora. Some want free answers to questions they would normally have to pay huge sums for (this has happened to me and I cannot believe how lucky I have been), so they try to sound smart and eager.
Some want to show how smart they are (guilty as charged in my case).
Some want dates.
Some want to rant (guilty again).
etc.
Why choose prospective college students as the only ones who might have to think about the nature of their questions? Could this actually have the effect of raising the level of questions on quora from a demographic that is largely absent here? Won't it serve to hear more voices who have valuable things to say? I don't know the answers but I think the questions are worth raising.
I think controversial answers are indeed risky. But if you have read what I have written about applying to schools in US News you would see this is exactly my advice. I want students who are not afraid to raise tough and controversial questions. Others may not. Sorry, do not. I now have proof of this from quora and other sites. So you are right at least partly on this point.
But I think stirring the pot is worth it as long as those doing so have the motives of raising good issues instead of tearing things down for the sake of the fun such a mess makes.
Let me see if I can respond in ways that might flesh this out a bit.
I. I am not sure there is a direct correlation between being on the 'cutting edge' and wealth. Do you have data to back this up?
II. You are correct. Let's say a range of options should be included on the Common Application.
III. See II (this is a paltry attempt to be funny)
IV. You are far too generous in your time assessment. In my 30 years of doing evaluations I would say my average per student was much closer to 15 minutes. All admission officers at highly selective schools are under huge time constraints. So are our primary care physicians. Good decisions can be made quickly with the proper training (a question I will raise with respect to admission readers in the future). Despite the current Gladwell bashing that serves as sport for some, his 'blink/think' meme is useful I think.
V. Everyone is filtering on quora. Some want free answers to questions they would normally have to pay huge sums for (this has happened to me and I cannot believe how lucky I have been), so they try to sound smart and eager.
Some want to show how smart they are (guilty as charged in my case).
Some want dates.
Some want to rant (guilty again).
etc.
Why choose prospective college students as the only ones who might have to think about the nature of their questions? Could this actually have the effect of raising the level of questions on quora from a demographic that is largely absent here? Won't it serve to hear more voices who have valuable things to say? I don't know the answers but I think the questions are worth raising.
I think controversial answers are indeed risky. But if you have read what I have written about applying to schools in US News you would see this is exactly my advice. I want students who are not afraid to raise tough and controversial questions. Others may not. Sorry, do not. I now have proof of this from quora and other sites. So you are right at least partly on this point.
But I think stirring the pot is worth it as long as those doing so have the motives of raising good issues instead of tearing things down for the sake of the fun such a mess makes.
I. Here you go: http://www.sciencedirect.
Quick summary: poor people (especially in other countries) do not have ready access to the internet (generally depending on internet cafes, etc).
I postulate that this should still hold true in American inner cities. Someone selling drugs to provide for their younger sibling does not have hours to spend on Quora.
V. From what I know, even admissions counselors at the same school can have different criteria for students. The risk of providing controversial answers is not worth the reward.
Plus, what's controversial for high schoolers can sound really stupid for educated adults.
Dan,
Thank you again for taking the time to reply. I will try to be quick too. That rarely happens even if my intentions are good, so forgive me if I ramble.
I. The article you sent: "Internet access in Africa: empirical evidence from Kenya and Nigeria", covers a very specific group of people in the world. It is sad and true that so many there do not have access to computers. I know some people who are trying to help but it is an overwhelming task. On the other hand, the people this article refers to have nothing, it is sad to say, with the demographic I am referring to. In other words, the people who apply to highly selective schools from around the world are almost all, highly educated. Virtually none of the people who are referred to in this article have even the slightest chance of being admitted to a highly selective school. Given that this is the case, should schools not use information that is likely to be available to the vast majority of their applicant pool. This certainly is not fair in a global sense but all but 10 of the top schools in the US use the ability to pay as a major factor in selecting those international students who are offered admission. This is not fair either but the economics of the day at schools make this is necessity.
II. You are certainly correct about inner cities, but not quite as correct as you are in number 1. First off, a drug dealer's chances of being admitted to a highly selective school are again astronomically small. The meth labs that go up at places like MIT are often rich kids surprisingly enough. It’s a kick rather than an economic decision.
On the other hand, there are many foundations, from Gates to Questbridge to specific university centered programs that provide tutoring, computers, and college advice for free. Those tiny few who can make it through such terrible circumstances are often the most recruited students at Yale, Harvard and Princeton. I say this having read applications for many years as a part of the Ron Brown Scholar program. These are students from all across the US who are given scholarships to attend any school they choose. The winners are kids whose life stories would put any of us in tears. My tears have stained applications for this program for years, but hey are tears of joy and sadness. They are the lucky few who have found that education is the key to escape the cycle of poverty. All too often it is the quick fix, like drug dealing, that prevents students from choosing the long term path. If a student works hard in a terrible environment, and does well, they will get a full paid education at the best schools in the country.
V. As for risks, again you may well be right. In a cost benefit analysis it is likely in one's best interest to play it safe. On the other hand, those who have risen above and beyond what people like me can do or have done, are often the ones who did indeed have the guts to take immense risks. People like Steve jobs and many other billionaires did no get where they are playing it safe. There are mountains of books and data that demonstrate that risk takers and entrepreneurs and innovators are the 1% who really matte in the world. It is not their money but their passion and ability to get normal folks like me to follow who inspire global change. When I read an application of someone like that I take more than 30 minutes. I write them personally and tell them that wherever they go, to keep on pushing and experimenting. I don't care where they go to school; I care that they know there are people out there rooting for them. Even if they don't get into any Ivy, it does not matter. Their willingness to go all in is what at least to me we don't have enough of today. Our politicians are proof of this. Nothing happens that is not painstaking pushed through focus groups. They are unwilling to take a risk and make tough choices. Where I come from Jefferson has deity status. He put his life on the line, died virtually penniless, and did a lot of controversial things (some would condemn the Louisiana Purchase even today). But history pretty much has borne out he did a great service to his country and the world. The Declaration is a revolutionary document. Had he and others played it safe we might have very different accents than the ones we have now.
Thank you again for your time and words. I have learned much.
Thank you again for taking the time to reply. I will try to be quick too. That rarely happens even if my intentions are good, so forgive me if I ramble.
I. The article you sent: "Internet access in Africa: empirical evidence from Kenya and Nigeria", covers a very specific group of people in the world. It is sad and true that so many there do not have access to computers. I know some people who are trying to help but it is an overwhelming task. On the other hand, the people this article refers to have nothing, it is sad to say, with the demographic I am referring to. In other words, the people who apply to highly selective schools from around the world are almost all, highly educated. Virtually none of the people who are referred to in this article have even the slightest chance of being admitted to a highly selective school. Given that this is the case, should schools not use information that is likely to be available to the vast majority of their applicant pool. This certainly is not fair in a global sense but all but 10 of the top schools in the US use the ability to pay as a major factor in selecting those international students who are offered admission. This is not fair either but the economics of the day at schools make this is necessity.
II. You are certainly correct about inner cities, but not quite as correct as you are in number 1. First off, a drug dealer's chances of being admitted to a highly selective school are again astronomically small. The meth labs that go up at places like MIT are often rich kids surprisingly enough. It’s a kick rather than an economic decision.
On the other hand, there are many foundations, from Gates to Questbridge to specific university centered programs that provide tutoring, computers, and college advice for free. Those tiny few who can make it through such terrible circumstances are often the most recruited students at Yale, Harvard and Princeton. I say this having read applications for many years as a part of the Ron Brown Scholar program. These are students from all across the US who are given scholarships to attend any school they choose. The winners are kids whose life stories would put any of us in tears. My tears have stained applications for this program for years, but hey are tears of joy and sadness. They are the lucky few who have found that education is the key to escape the cycle of poverty. All too often it is the quick fix, like drug dealing, that prevents students from choosing the long term path. If a student works hard in a terrible environment, and does well, they will get a full paid education at the best schools in the country.
V. As for risks, again you may well be right. In a cost benefit analysis it is likely in one's best interest to play it safe. On the other hand, those who have risen above and beyond what people like me can do or have done, are often the ones who did indeed have the guts to take immense risks. People like Steve jobs and many other billionaires did no get where they are playing it safe. There are mountains of books and data that demonstrate that risk takers and entrepreneurs and innovators are the 1% who really matte in the world. It is not their money but their passion and ability to get normal folks like me to follow who inspire global change. When I read an application of someone like that I take more than 30 minutes. I write them personally and tell them that wherever they go, to keep on pushing and experimenting. I don't care where they go to school; I care that they know there are people out there rooting for them. Even if they don't get into any Ivy, it does not matter. Their willingness to go all in is what at least to me we don't have enough of today. Our politicians are proof of this. Nothing happens that is not painstaking pushed through focus groups. They are unwilling to take a risk and make tough choices. Where I come from Jefferson has deity status. He put his life on the line, died virtually penniless, and did a lot of controversial things (some would condemn the Louisiana Purchase even today). But history pretty much has borne out he did a great service to his country and the world. The Declaration is a revolutionary document. Had he and others played it safe we might have very different accents than the ones we have now.
Thank you again for your time and words. I have learned much.
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 Yesterday, 10:14 PM |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Afton Mountain, VA
Posts: 77
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Show don't tell essay
Here is an essay written by a
student who comes from a unique background. She uses details and a good hook.
She now attends a highly selective university.
The essay itself in part depends on a photo of the place where she lives, but according to CC rules, I cannot post it. If you want to see it and some others of her world please google me and add E.M. Forster's famous epigraph to Howard's End: "only connect". I posted another quite different essay recently on CC and the few reactions to it could not have disagreed more. What do you think of this one? I am doing research on essays and who reads them and how to write a great one successfully. I hope you will take the time to comment here. Thank you. ******************************************************************** 
It is 5.50am sharp when I start hearing my parents and our two co-workers for
the summer entering the kitchen below my bedroom. The radio sings. My dad
starts turning the cheese he made yesterday upside down. One by one, again
and again, I hear the loud “tonks” when he flips each cheese over by hand. I
tried this once, but given that each one weights about 20 pounds, I sure had
my troubles. Each cheese needs to be flipped and the towel around it changed
five times, in order to become stable enough in its form to be put, after
almost a day of such care, into a salt bath.
 Every day, without fail, my dad is already working before I wake each morning whenever I spend my nights on our mountain. Given that the whole house is built out of wood, every tiny sound can be heard no matter where I am. I know the routine; if I don’t get up within the next five minutes, my dad will either pleasantly ring one of the huge black bells outside the house, displayed for decoration and my “lovely wake up calls”, or just shout my name to get me to come downstairs for breakfast.  Therefore, on this particular morning, I get up myself up and dressed quickly . It is in this moment, shortly before 6am, during which my room starts to fill with light. I walk to the window and see what is for me one of my favorite views in the whole world. The mountain range of the Swiss Alps greets me with the sun rising in an orange sky. Quickly, sunray after sunray touches the landscape and within a minute, my room is entirely lit by the first sunlight of the day. I love this mountain house of ours. All wooden, the smells of cheese being made, the faint sound of animals in the barn during the day, the fresh air which is incomparable to any place I have been so far in the world. Nature up here is complete. Surrounded by gigantic stony mountains and the sky above, our mountain valley lies within a wild and untouched part of Switzerland that has been owned by our family for at least 500 years. Besides a few pine trees, the forest does not populate the earth this far up on 1800 meters above sea level. Many stones cover the landscape; little streams of the freshest water make their way down to the valley. I could usually stand in the front porch and look down the valley for hours. But there is work to be done.  One after another, or sometimes, just all at once (which can be very stressful and potentially dangerous), the cows that have been enjoying their night outside, are herded by my mother. On this day, they all finally enter the barn. It normally takes me two weeks to know every cow by name and where she needs to be tied up in the barn. And yes, they do look all different in some way. It is the same as with humans; some are more noticeable and in fact beautiful than others. Like Cina, who actually tried to bite me the first time I met her. I definitely remembered her afterwards… My dad works in the cattle business. Our family keeps 120 cows over the course of 3 months in summer; afterwards, most of them are auctioned off all over Switzerland.  After a day of long work, I sit outside the house, drinking a Heineken with my father while my mother is almost done preparing one of her always delicious dinners. The sensations of yet another day up on the mountain run through my mind again: Me sitting next to the warm body of a cow while the animal is getting milked. Smelling the hay and milk. Being in nature with my family. Having an almost literal heartwarming feeling inside me from being, really being, up on the top of my world. Spending the day amongst my family, helping to make the money that is spent later onto pay for my college tuition. It is now that I understand what the word appreciation really means. This is deep thankfulness indicates how much I have grown up. Loving my origins, my parents, our land, now, learning to appreciate our trade.  My parents’ hard work and love have done far more than to just bring me into the world. Today;, each day, I strive for new knowledge, keep alive each day the wonder of a child for all that there is to see and touch, smell and hear, and now say, in the world. Here and everywhere. Knowing where I come from and how I got to where I am shows me that I am not a teenager anymore. I am a young adult who holds a part of my family and this mountain, and all that this means, inside me. More importantly, perhaps, I am willing to travel across the world and take chances, in and out of the classroom, to show my parents just how much I appreciate my life abroad and right here on my mountaintop. Morning glory on our mountain  |
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New Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 20
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I think this essay epitomizes the
show don't tell principle. However, I highly doubt most schools allow
students to write that long of an essay?!
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phloppy95,
thank you so much for your great point. Going over the word limit is certainly a risk. Some people who read take the limit as absolute. In reading essays I never cared how long it was if the essay was great. This underscores the fact that it is not the essay itself that only matters. It is the reader who reads it. In some cases, risks are doomed because they represent rule breakers. In others, the word used might be game changers. The fact that both sides have good point to make on the same essay, and the decision will be completely different, indicates, at least to me, that any book or article that purports tells students a step by step approach that works across the board is, at least on some occasions, misleading. The reader is just as important as the essay itself. 
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Here is a a snippet from my Facebook page. Julide Etem has created a great documentary film, "Will Work For Words". The topic she addresses is the woefully small number of work visas issued to Non-US citizens each year. The trailer and lots of comments on this film are located throughout this blog. It is an issue that is of great importance to the future health of the US and to me personally. Last night she had the opportunity to meet with Werner Herzog, the legendary film director and one of my personal heroes.
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And if you are wondering about the spectacular photos throught this post, they were taken by the mother of Lida, the person whose essay was featured yesterday. I asked for more photos given the incredible beeuaty of the world they live in and they were kind enough to send some.
These are just a few of my interactions with the world as I sit on Afton Mountain on another glorious day. I am changed by each of these interactions. It is proof, to some degree, that education in the world is changing. I am permitted to find out more about almost any topic or place in the world, even in a rural town in Virginia. This educational revolution has not become the order of the day ye, but with prices to attend universites out of reach for so many this may be at least a peek into the future. I a blessed to get my education for free each day from people like this. I hope you as readers will educate me too. Engage in a debate. Leave a comment. Facebook friend me. Send me a great link. I always need to learn more. Thank you one and all.
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