Too Big To Fail, Part IV

At many universities classes are poised to begin. Yet one of the more important events needs to happen first. It is called by a variety of names in different places, but it from where I am from it is called an activity fair. It is not a spot for rides and cotton candy; instead, it is a place where students, mostly those who are new, can come and browse the wares of the student groups who have chosen to represent themselves and answer questions and recruit.

In effect, it is much like a college fair in high school, in which large groups of colleges hand out materials to prospective students. But the intent of this particular fair is different, but to me at least, no less important. Like a large college fair, walking in the door or across the campus to the tables and set ups is a bit overwhelming. To most, it is simply a set of choices in one place thy have never encountered.

And like a college fair, there are familiar names: student council, young democrats and republicans, debate, premed, prelaw, pre seemingly everything, and then it starts to get to the ones that a student has never heard of or thought about: sky diving, EMT, a seemingly endless list of service organization from helping locals to traveling across the world, to save dogs and other animals, an yes, even a few devoted to saving the earth or the world.  Some of these groups, it is clear, are very small, just like there are some tiny colleges.

Others are the Harvard’s of the particular school. These Harvards of activities are often the one most students who have been accepted to highly selective schools gravitate to. Why? Because almost all the students, when the applied, had lists of things that usually ended with the word president or chairman or all-state.  And then there is the same cachet involved. A Capella groups are certainly in vogue and a place in one of these seems to be a ticket to popularity and success. And student leadership positions in governance are big too on virtually any campus.

So just when student thought she had been through the highly selective winnowing of places in the school, many now put themselves on the line for the Harvards and Stanfords of activities. And the truth is that many of them will not make it. That is hat selective means. I want parents and students about this. High profile activities, just like high profile colleges are not always the best places for a student, for all kinds of reasons. 

So students must approach this process much as any applicant to colleges should. An open mind is best if not a must. People should not pick schools or activities based upon its status. But unfortunately most do not believe me. They think that a place in one of these activities will continue to build their resume and leads to future success. This can certainly happen. But it also can lead to a jolt in confidence during what is also a stressful first semester. There are many other things to worry about: Does my roommate like me? Do I like him or her? Am I going to gain the freshman 15 or waste away to skin and bone in order to look even thinner? Am I really as good as I think I am in intellect or athletics or entrepreneurship? But just as a college advisor’s job is to select a range of choice for students, so too students should have a diverse list of activities.

I tell students to sign up with their email or ID to a huge list of activities that strike any interest whatsoever. The more choices, the more chances. And as with schools, it is not the activities themselves that matter as much as the people who are in them. A tiny group with great people can accomplish more than a large group of résumé padders. I have seen this again and again. Just as there are no inherently right schools, so there are no ‘right activities’.  If a student has come to school to be transformed then he or she should not just attempt to join groups that are simply updates of secondary school activities. That is playing it way to safe. So while I am warning students not to just apply to the Ivies of activities, I am, at the same time, encouraging them to stretch their arms and do hot yoga or dream corps (a group that tutors students in rural China) or something silly and fun.

For a select few students that I meet I tell them to stop worrying about student groups and think bigger. These are students who have already demonstrated interest and talent in something. For them I tell them to go global. What I mean by this has to do with going to faculty or administrators or to people out in the world to create something new and better. I have seen students do his and it changed them to the degree that they have new purpose in their lives. One student convinced academic departments to help design schoolhouses in Haiti after the earthquake, another is helping raise the consciousness of people around the world about the plight of North Korean refuges, and yet another is trying to change the entire legal structure of his country when it comes to work visa for international students.

I encourage students to do this even though they may fail. The cliché, 'a man’s reach may exceed his grasp or what’s a heaven for’ was not always a cliché. It is a beautiful poetic lie and I can be so today. People can make poetry of their lives. It can happen, but like any great art, it is hard. The odds are large. But it isn’t a lottery. It is not in or lose. Sometimes the victory is in the preparation, the planning, the understanding gained rather than the outcome. Graduate schools and businesses understand this.

So I am saying no student is too big to fail. And failure is an option, sometimes a good one. It will be a great learning experience. If a student is ready for it. And that is when a student needs to look within and look ahead with confidence and inspiration and lots of other abstract qualities. Bu it is the single step that starts a journey, another cliché, but journeys are mental as well as physical and the internal steps a student takes on the road to changing the world will change their minds for the better. I wish I could guarantee it, but I can’t. But I have seen what happens to almost everyone who has thought big, worked really hard, and gathered forces for the fray. And now you have too.

So here is the sound bite:  a student is never too big to fail no matter how smart or how long the resume. And sometimes failing something can be the best thing that ever happened. We seem to be teaching students these days not to take risks. I would strongly disagree. Healthy risks in which planning, effort, and help from others almost always results in learning and that is the point of education. And no one is too little to fail either. Those who only try to do things they are already good at miss the opportunity to grow. By playing it safe they may miss the boat. The boat that sails to uncharted waters of the mind, the soul, and the heart. It is, for me, the reason for being on this earth for something more than taking up space. Tough words, I know. But if life is always easy, then it is unlived to its fullest potential.