Coffee, Thai Iced Tea, and me

Sometimes a friendly dinner yields information that changes the way you view the world. And by you I mean me but I also mean you too. That is the wonder of exchanging ideas. We slip inside each other’s brain for a while.

This happens to me all the time as I meet with people from all over the world on a daily basis. I have said to many that my coffees and lunches with parents of students, and the students themselves have educated me in ways no class or book ever could. 

Over drinks (I mean coffee or water, I don’t drink alcohol), outside of a sterile office, people relax. We chat. Now this might sound like a waste of time (and money, every coffee shop in town knows what I drink before I get to the counter), but let me tell you a little secret. Coffee is the key to everything I have ever done. In a relaxed setting people open up. In a formal interview, or a situation in which I sit behind a desk as an authority figure, we won’t treat each other as equals. In such a situation people are prone to call me Mister. Over coffee, I am always Parke. And small things like this make a difference.

Here are few of the things I have learned the last few days. In China and Singapore it is prestigious to be a teacher. A student who graduated from a great university was in investment banking in New York and wanted to go back to teach in China where she is from. She had lots of experience and was brilliant but she was not qualified to teach. I asked my friends who are themselves investment folks in New York, the next time you are in a bar, one of you say when you meet someone new, “I am a teacher in New York” and see what happens. The biggest guys in the room will avert their eyes and move away as quickly as possible. Our culture does not value teaching nearly as much as we should. Until that happens the folks over there will crush the US when it comes to testing and academic preparation. They are doing that right now. 

I talked with a student who had been to high school in China (the most amazing campus I have ever seen, she will do a guest blog with pictures in the near future), then switched to a school in Singapore that the Wall Street Journal has called the best in the world—I have been there many times. The students are brilliant, ironic and not at all what people think when they think about Singapore (if they think about it at all). I have seen people start to speak slowly when they find out  a student is from Singapore, not knowing the person they are talking to has a toll free SAT (800 800 800,) because they are unaware English is the native language. Yes, this really happened).

And then I had coffee with the parents of a student from Puerto Rico and we talked about the high wall that exists between Latins who come directly from Latin countries or cultures and those who are second generation immigrants. Most in the US do not even know about this as they clump Latins with Latins.

And today I had lunch with a wonderful and brilliant recent graduate who will be writing about the direction she has taken in life compared to her sister. Although they are from the same family one has followed a typical path for a daughter of Asian immigrants and the other has taken the opposite road. And we know from Frost that that has made all the difference. You will have to wait a few days to find out which one she is.

And after that I had a great conversation about Pakistan with a student who attended the most prestigious secondary school in that country. We talked about that and he gave me insight into the elite culture there and we talked about the wonderful novel Moth Smoke, which depicts accurately that culture and its foibles and fate. 

And finally, this evening my daughter told me I am doing too much stuff on my Facebook page. She told me to slow down and she knows about all this far more than I do. She is a pro. I am a minor leaguer called up late in the innings. 

And that all this caffeine and all this education are the way almost all my days go. And this is why I love what I do. I get a chance to learn from so many. I am indeed blessed.